


Hiraeth

by MonsoonMansion (Oakmilk)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bullying, Cheating, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Graphic Abuse, Obsessive Behavior, Online Dating, Possessive Behavior, Schizoaffective Disorder, in the past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-05-23 12:19:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 32,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oakmilk/pseuds/MonsoonMansion
Summary: Hiraeth: A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or never was.Sasuke and Gaara never met and that was fine.Until they do.An older story of mine that I decided to post.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a prologue but didn't like it, so all you really have to know is that Sasuke and Gaara met online when they were ten and lost contact at the beginning of junior year under mysterious circumstances.

Gaara sighed, staring blankly up at the imposing brick building in front of him. “Konoha High”, otherwise known as the soul-sucking prison he was condemned to spend his senior year of high school at.

 

 ** _‘Unless they see you for the freak you are and you get kicked out again’_**  a familiar but unwelcome voice chuckled in his ears. Gaara breathed heavily out of his nostrils, shutting his eyes and rubbing at his temples. “It’s not real, get over it,” he muttered to himself, and felt the telltale signs of a headache beginning to surface. He opened his eyes finally and looked back up at the building, a stronger sense of dread than usual curling in his chest. He wasn’t sure why but he could already tell that things were about to get much worse.

 

Much, much worse

 

Gaara grit his teeth and dug his nails into the arms of the faux-leather chair he was leaning back in, doing his best to tune out the droning voice of the principal. 

 

**_‘Why are we even here? You know nothing good will come from this. It'll be exactly like last time, kid.’_ **

 

Gaara snorted, causing the principal to look up and frown at the redhead. “Was something I said funny to you, Mr. Subaku?”

 

Gaara rolled his eyes and shook his head, actually chuckling albeit humorlessly now. “Nothing you said was interesting enough to be considered remotely funny.”

 

The principal narrowed his eyes and locked his jaw, lines of displeasure etching themselves along his weathered face. “I have read your rather... extensive record, Mr. Subaku. Eight schools in six years? I’m not sure how they did it at the previous ones, but at this school we do not just simply expel delinquents. Act up and you will be punished accordingly.”

 

Gaara’s eyes widened in anger, temper immediately flaring up as his nails dug in deep enough to tear through the cheap fabric.

The principal leaned back in his chair, linking his fingers together as he regarded the seething boy in front of him. “I figured that’s what you were hoping for, to simply be expelled. But here at Konoha High we believe every child has the chance to learn and grow not only as a student but as a person as well. I am confident we will help you unlock your full potential here.”

 

“Quit acting like you know everything about me-”

 

Gaara was shocked into silence by the slamming of a palm on the desk separating him and the much older man, immediately flinching at the loud noise and tensing, eyes darting around the room. The principal sighed heavily, eyes closing momentarily before fixating on the young man who was now practically shaking in anger.

 

“I believe I already told you this,” he began, voice quiet but tone dripping in severity. “But we do not tolerate bad behavior or disrespect at Konoha. Act out again and I will take disciplinary measures. I am aware of your mental health issues-”

 

“I don’t have ‘mental health issues’-“

 

"I'd advise you not to interrupt me. Your father has already-” 

Gaara tensed for what felt like the thousandth time that day, noticeable enough that the principal stopped talking and raised an eyebrow. The new student shut his eyes tightly and took deep breaths through his nose, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. The rush of the bitter metallic flavor was enough to rip him from his reprieve and instill a new sense of panic in him, enough that he was forced to open his eyes and stand immediately, knocking his knees sharply against the hard wooden desk. Without saying a word he turned and left the office in a hurry, slamming the door behind him as he rushed down the crowded hall, the too loud hall, and GOD why were people always so loud, and entered the nearest bathroom, not even bothering to lock the stall door behind him and sinking to the floor with his hands over his ears.

 

 ** _‘Pathetic,’_**   Shukaku whispered, and for once Gaara didn’t even try to disagree with him. He focused on his racing heart and used the erratic movements to comfort himself. As long as it beats, he was here. As long as it beats, he was alive.

 

His breathing eventually slowed down as did his heart beat until it felt normal. Slow, but normal. Normal was good. Consistent. Letting out a breath of fresh air he pulled his hands away from his head, grimacing as he felt a few strands of hair he had obviously pulled out in between his fingers. He hadn’t even noticed.

 

Suddenly the bathroom door swung open and Gaara tensed again but kept his eyes shut. No one had to find him, he was locked in a stall and safe.

 

“I got Tobirama for APUSH, who’d you get?” A bored voice said, clearly uninterested but bringing up the topic to rid the groups lull of silence.

 

“Tobirama? Oh shit!” A much louder voice squeaked, and Gaara winced. His voice was hinging on excitement and nervousness as he directed his next question at another boy. “Doesn’t he like hate your whole family, Sasuke?”

 

Gaara bit his hand in order to quell the yelp that threatened to escape his lips and give away his position. Sasuke? No way, there were plenty of Sasukes out there. It couldn’t be.

 

Another uninterested voice began speaking. He may have been speaking at a normal volume but his voice was as clear as if he was screaming at the top of his lungs, which, ironically, was what Gaara felt like doing right that moment.

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he hates all Uchihas for some fucked up reason.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conflict.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck  _oh fuck_.

Shukaku’s laughter echoed around in Gaara’s head, the start of another skull-splitting headache creeping up

_**‘Isn’t this just perfect? Imagine how pissed he is after you left him all alone. He’ll probably beat the shit out of you.’** _

_**’If someone else doesn’t first that is.’** _

“Shut up, Shukaku,” Gaara hissed quietly, hands reaching up to grip at his hair and scratch at his skull once again, Maybe if he dug deep enough into his head Shukaku would be quiet, maybe he wouldn’t have to hear him anymore, see all of it anymore, maybe people wouldn’t-

He was ripped out of his thoughts by the first voice, the bored one. “I’ve gotta take a piss.”

He heard the rest of the group laughing and telling him to shut up goodnaturedley, and Gaara stilled, confused as to why they weren’t berating the male for saying something so tasteless and inappropriate. He was so absorbed in confusion that he didn’t even register the sound of footsteps approaching his stall, only going rigid when the footsteps suddenly stopped.

Right outside of his stall.

But it was okay, he had locked the stall so no one could get in, he had-

He hadn’t locked the stall.

A panic, a type of panic Gaara didn’t feel often gripped him  
as the door began to open almost like it was moving in slow motion but he couldn’t move, couldn’t bring his now bloodstained hands from his matted hair, couldn’t lower his head, couldn’t do anything as the a tanned face pushed open the door completely, eyes widening in surprise and- and disgust?- as he took in the sight of the small, huddled boy curled up on the dirty floor, wedged between the wall and the toilet, sleep deprived eyes gazing up at him like a deer caught in headlights.

“What the fuck?” The boy bit out, clearly unable to fully process the sight in front of him. “What the actual fuck?”

The other boys heard him and quickly gathered around the entrance of the stall, eyes widening as they took in Gaara’s pitiful form. A boy with sharp teeth suddenly let out a howl of laughter, something almost animalistic as he doubled over in mirth. It was like a chain reaction, immediately all of the other boys began laughing too, like it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen. All except two boys, a blond one whose face showed concern as he chuckled nervously and another boy, the boy Gaara had been dreading to see ever since he heard his name called out by who he assumed was the blond with the high pitched laughter. Sasuke didn’t laugh at Gaara, he just stared at him in shock and disbelief. Until his face distorted into a mask of pure unadulterated disgust, and Gaara felt his whole world cave in on him.

He was startled back into reality when a bored voice addressed him. “Oi, what’re you doing down there? You like getting other people’s filth on you or something?”

Gaara didn’t reply, eyes widening as he realized he was sitting on a dirty bathroom floor. He immediately attempted to stand up, going slower than normal due to his aching joints, before being pushed back down to the ground again, letting out a hiss as his elbow hit the side of the metal toilet. He looked up and narrowed his eyes as he saw the dog-like boy who started the laughter smirking down at him, most of the boys boys behind him beginning to laugh loudly again.

“You didn’t answer Shikamaru, that’s not a very smart thing to do,” He opened his mouth as if to speak again and only belatedly did Gaara realize he just got spat on.

He sat there in shock, hand reaching up to wipe away the spit on his cheek only to smear blood from his head on there in replacement.

The boy standing over Gaara eye’s widened before he cackled. “How’d you get that blood all over you? You jacking off on your period or something?”

Gaara sat there numbly as Shukaku whispered threats and suggestions to him, but even the voice in his head was drowned out by the new cacophony of laughter coursing through his ears.

“Kiba you idiot,” the one apparently named Shikamaru said, “Look at his head. Sliced his head open with his own nails.”

Kiba, the dog boy (no a wolf, definitely more predatory like a goddamn wolf) glanced at Gaara’s head, red hair now matted with dark blood, and guffawed.

“Oh yeah, you’re right!” He grabbed Gaara’s shirt collar and dragged him from the stall, the smaller boy’s hands coming up to weakly scrabble at Kiba’s shirt, not able to do much more as the suffocation caused his mind to grow hazier. He foggily realized he was being situated on the counter where the sinks are, toes just skimming the ground as he was too short to reach it completely.

‘ _ **Look at you, look how weak you are. You’re letting this kid beat you up? You could take them, take all of them, break their fucking bones in a heartbeat. You can’t breathe kid, you’re dying.’**_

Gaara felt fear overtake him because he couldn’t die, not yet, he needed to live, and barely even noticed himself drawing his arm back and slamming it into Kiba’s face so hard he heard the other boy’s nose crack.

A general cry of shock and anger rang out as the force of the punch was so great Kiba fell backwards onto the floor, a string of curse words leaving his mouth as he grabbed his heavily bleeding and now probably badly broken nose.

“He broke my fucking nose!” He shouted, crawling away from the shaking boy on the counter. Immediately the small blond yet out an indignant yell and charged towards Gaara, but Gaara caught his fist easily and held it in a crushing grip, body moving on autopilot, just listening to Shukaku, and brought his free hand to the boy’s captured wrist, ready to break it like he had broken so many other’s before-

“What the fuck is your problem, Gaara?’

Gaara immediately let go of the boy’s wrist and released his fist as well, staring up at the voice of the boy he once knew.

Sasuke stared at Gaara with nothing but hatred, voice dripping with pure malice. The loathsome way he said Gaara’s name pierced through his heart like a sharp metal rod. Nothing like how he used to say it over their all night video chats so long ago.

All of the boys (except Kiba who was still nursing his broken nose) looked up at Sasuke in question.

A relatively silent boy wearing dark glasses and a high collar broke the stunned silence and asked the question they were all wondering. “Sasuke, how do you know his name?”

The Uchiha’s eyes widened a fraction before he relaxed his facial features into one of disinterest.

“I met him when we were kids. I felt bad for him so I talked to him  
for a while out of pity. Now I guess I can see why I was his only friend.”

Gaara stopped shaking and stared at Sasuke with his mouth slightly opened. It was pity?

The blond who had been rubbing his bruising hand and wrist looked up at Sasuke in disbelief. “You were friends with him?”

Sasuke looked at Gaara and sighed. “Not really,” He turned away, face hidden as he continued. “I’d call it a charity case. He meant nothing to me.”

Gaara slumped back against the mirror behind him, vision blurring and headache raging with full force as Shukaku shrieked in laughter. So it was true. He never had a friend, not even one. Sasuke had hated him just like the rest all along.

**_‘Oh, now this is rich. See, what did I tell you? What did Raza tell you? You’re unlovable, who would ever want someone like you? He never loved you, it was all a lie, and I was right again. You should trust me more kid, when have I ever led you astray? You won’t get by in this world without me, without me you’re useless, worthless, a pathetic-’_ **

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” Gaara screamed, hands clawing at his head as the rest of his body contorted, legs thrashing and chest heaving. Everyone looked at Gaara in shock before someone let out a gasp. Gaara didn’t hear the scramble to get out of the bathroom, didn’t feel someone shoving him so hard into the mirror that it shattered in an attempt to get him to shut up, didn’t see Sasuke grab the blond’s uninjured hand, pulling him out of the room with a hushed “Naruto, come on!”, didn’t hear their rushed heavy footsteps outside in the hall, didn’t hear the bell for class ring, and didn’t even notice Shukaku had stopped speaking until he found himself curled in on himself again, wet and shaky sobs making their way past his mouth and the skin under his nails encrusted with dry blood.


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke felt the breath leave his lungs as Gaara started screaming, shock taking over his body as he grabbed Naruto and sprinted out of there as fast as he could. When they had gotten outside of the bathroom he heard the screaming stop for a second and an unsteady “Shukaku...” be whispered almost pleadingly, and the shock was replaced with a horrible, horrible, gut wrenching guilt. He didn’t have much time to reflect on it though as the screaming abruptly started again and Naruto tugged on his arm to get him moving again. Sasuke looked down at him and nodded, beginning to run after their friends and get away from the awful noise.

——-

Sasuke payed no attention to his class, lost in thought as he stared out the window.

Why the hell was Gaara here and why the hell did he let him get beat up?

Sasuke grit his teeth and tightened his hold on his pencil. He didn’t need to get worked up on this, the little creep had abandoned him without so much as even a goodbye, abandoned their relationship, the one thing that made him happy, the one thing, the one person, who kept him going had just left and-

He felt the pencil snap in his hands and looked down at the splintered piece of wood before quickly gazing around to see if anyone had noticed his outburst. Thankfully no one seemed to be looking at him, not even the usual crowd of girls who fawned over him were sparing a glance his way, everyone too busy and focused on scribbling down notes about the upcoming semester.

Everyone but him.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. It was going to be a long year.

——-

The cafeteria was obnoxiously loud, people exclaiming overly loud greetings to old friends and recounting tales of what they did over the summer. Sasuke frowned. He was never fond of loud noises but he knew Gaara absolutely hated them-

Sasuke bit his lip and mentally slapped himself. He needed to stop thinking about that piece of shit (but he’s not and you know it-) and find his friends. Get back to normal. He looked over the tops of people’s head and saw a tuft of brown hair that could only be Shikamaru’s and smirked, immediately heading over to them and sitting down next to Naruto who was still whining about his hand to anyone who would listen.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and grabbed Naruto’s hair, pulling on it softly to get him to shut up. “Oi, quit whining idiot. At least you don’t have a broken nose like Kiba. Never thought his face could get even more fucked up.”

Everyone at the table erupted in laughter except for Kiba, who glared at everyone with a mass of gauze and medical tape from his trip to the nurse’s office fixed on his now disfigured nose.

“Shut up! It isn’t funny, I swear to god when I get my hands on that little-”

Sasuke had tensed up, growing uncomfortable as the group quickly encouraged the threats against Gaara, almost incriminating himself by standing up when _thank god_ , for _once_ he was glad Sakura decided to come up behind him and drape herself all over him.

“So who’s fingers are we going to ‘break one by one’?” She asked innocently, not so subtly adjusting her position so her chest rubbed up against Sasuke’s back, the victim of which rolling his eyes. Naruto glared up at Sakura, eyes narrowing.

“Hey, get off my boyfriend!” He barked, huffing through his nose. Sakura only laughed and winked down at Naruto.

“He won’t be for long,” She said, sticking her tongue out as if teasing but they all knew better. “Anyways, who are we talking about again?”

“This kid named Gaara or something, found him on the bathroom floor scratching his skin off and messed with him a bit, you know no big deal, but then he decided to break Kiba’s fucking nose and screw up Naruto’s hand,” Shikamaru recounted, nodding at Naruto who held out his arm and showed his badly bruised appendages.

Sakura gasped, about to say something when the boy continued. “Anyways we find out Sasuke used to be friends with the kid out of pity when they were younger ‘cause he had no friends and shit and then all of a sudden he just starts freaking out, clawing at his head hard enough to draw blood and screeching like a goddamn banshee so at that point we decide to just split, don’t want to be there any longer.”

Sakura seemed ready to speak again when a blonde appeared at her side, resting her elbow on Sasuke’s shoulder and laying her chin on her fist.

“Ino!” Sakura squawked indignantly, glaring at the girl beside her.

“Sup?” Ino just grinned at the pink haired girl, sticking her tongue out and narrowing her eyes before diverting her attention to the group of boys. “What’s all this juicy gossip I hear? Tell me what’s going on.”

Shikamaru groaned but repeated the story, going into a bit more detail about what they did to the boy this time before finishing with a glare at the blonde. “Happy?”

Ino stared down at Shikamaru, an unreadable expression on her face as she stayed silent a moment before speaking. “So... this kid was having like a mental breakdown or something and you decide to beat him up?”

Kiba squared his shoulders and banged a fist on the table, eyes flashing with anger, “Ino, do you see my face?! do you see Naruto’s arms?! What we did was justified, aight?”

Ino looked down at him with thinly masked disdain, a scowl threatening to overtake her usually cheery features. “It sounds like he wouldn’t have done that shit if you hadn’t insulted him, pushed him to the ground, tried to punch him, and fucking choked him all while he was having a mental breakdown. I usually don’t mind you guys getting into trouble and shit but actually what the hell this time.”

“No one’s forcing you to be here, Ino,,” Sakura snapped, and a general murmur of assent was passed through he group with the exception of Sasuke. “Why don’t you go hang out with that kid then?”

Ino looked down at the group before standing up straight and getting off of Sasuke’s shoulder. “Yeah fine, maybe I will.” The group all stared at her, Shikamaru opening his mouth before being cut off by the blonde. “What’s he look like?”

To everyone’s surprise, Sasuke, who had been silent up until now, spoke up. “He has red hair, really short, shorter than Naruto-”

“Hey!-”

“Kanji for love tattooed on his forehead, dark circles. That enough?”

And the most beautiful person to ever roam this earth.

Ino smiled sickly sweet at all of them and nodded, waving her fingers in goodbye as she turned to leave.

“Oh, and Sakura,” She said, tilting her head to look at the dumbstruck girl. “Maybe this means I’ll get a boyfriend before you~”

Amidst Sakura’s yelling and the laughter at the table no one noticed Sasuke’s features darken.


	4. Chapter 4

Ino was lowkey fuming as she searched the halls for this mystery boy, glaring at any unfortunate soul who happened to catch her gaze. She was used to them pulling pranks, used to them teasing and picking on people, and okay, maybe they occasionally roughed some people up but they always had a reason before at least, but this just didn’t make sense. They had found a kid... hurting himself? And just decided to fuck with him? Yeah, no. She was not here for that kind of shit.

She combed the whole school and couldn’t find anyone matching the redheads description, even popped her head into all of the boy’s bathrooms, and ew, she was never doing that again, grimacing when she found one with a broken mirror and blood speckled shards of glass littering the counter and floor and okay, if she wasn’t pissed at them before now she definitely was.

She was nearly about to give up when she passed the stairwell to the roof and grinned. That was where people who wanted to be alone always went, right? She made her way up the stairwell and emerged onto the roof, smiling slightly as a light breeze fanned across her face and pleasant sunlight enveloped her in it’s warm embrace. She almost forgot what she was here for until she heard a small cough. Opening her eyes she looked around for the source of the noise and saw a head of red hair.

_Bingo._

Grinning she walked up silently behind him, crouching down next to him and tapping his shoulder.

She wasn’t expecting for the boy’s bowed head to startle upright and for him to flinch so violently away. She frowned, withdrawing her hand and opening her mouth to speak when she caught sight of his face.

He was absurdly cute.

Ino stared at him transfixed for what felt like forever but was probably no more than a second. She had never seen such a pretty boy. Sure, some guys were hot as fuck (Read: Sasuke, Neji, etc.)  
but she had never met a boy so enticingly beautiful.

“Who are you?” He whispered, voice deeper than she expected and slightly raspy.

And filled with undeniable fear and suspicion.

Ino blinked and put a warm smile back on her face. “I’m Ino. You’re Gaara, right?”

The reaction was immediate. Gaara’s eyes widened and he shot up from his sitting position. “H-how do you know my name? Who told you? Who?!” He backed up, and only then did Ino realize what an understatement Sasuke made about the boy’s dark circles. He looked like he hadn’t slept a night in his life. She also noticed with growing concern that his hair was slightly wet, still matted with something dark red like he had desperately tried to wash out but couldn’t get it all, realized that when he had gotten up the glimpse she had gotten of his back showed tiny holes in the back of his shirt that revealed scratches from what could easily be glass, seen how there was blood caked under his fingernails, a faint imprint of finger shaped bruises on his neck, and with a surge of white hot anger fully recognized the fear in his eyes like something akin to a wounded and cornered animal.

But she also realized with horror that the boy was unwittingly about to back off the edge of the roof.


	5. Chapter 5

When Ino was younger she was forced to run track by her parents. She hated it, hated running and sweating but most of all hated being passed by Sakura in practices and matches so she forced herself to be better, to run faster, and she did. She beat Sakura in nearly every race and soon enough became the fastest high schooler in Konoha. But she still hated it and regretted ever starting it.

In this moment Ino Yamanaka had never been more grateful that her parents made her play that godforsaken sport.

Body moving on its own, she vaulted herself over to the panicking boy and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the edge just as his foot hit the air. She held him in a loose embrace, and he stood there, not returning it but not rejecting it either. After a moment she pulled back and let out a shaky chuckle, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand.

“Hey, um, maybe let’s not do that, okay? I really would hate to see you die and all, and I can’t even imagine how your family would react.” She looked over at the boy and frowned again, hand falling back to her side as she considered him. After almost falling to their death she would expect someone to be freaking out, crying, singing her praises for saving their life-

Well, she expected the first two. The third should happen but, she mused, it wasn’t a perfect world after all.

But instead the boy looked... empty. Not disappointed, which she also would’ve expected from a suicidal person (which, after hearing what happened from Shikamaru, she wouldn’t have ruled out to be honest). He just seemed emotionless, as if none of this had even happened. She tapped her foot on the ground, trying to think of a good thing to say next when his voice broke the silence.

“Thank you.” He murmured, not quite looking at her.

She smiled and cupped her hand around her ear. “What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

Gaara flushed, looking down at the ground in apparent frustration before taking a deep breath. “Thank you.” He said louder this time, nose wrinkling.

Ino smiled wider and nodded. This kid really was cute. Looking at him she realized she had to look slightly down, and wow, Sasuke was right, he was even shorter than Naruto. She didn’t see how he could be dangerous to anyone but himself really.

“Sorry about that earlier. Why don’t we have a better introduction?” Gaara looked up at her, clearly confused. She sighed before continuing. “Hi, my name’s Ino Yamanaka. What’s your’s?”

Gaara’s eyes widened slightly in understanding before nodding. “Gaara no Subaku.”

Ino felt her heart squeeze in happiness. Maybe she had gotten through to him somewhat. “Hey, Gaara, why don’t you hang out with me and my friends? I just lost some lame old ones and I could use a cool new one.”


	6. Chapter 6

Ino was... nice. Slightly overbearing and loud, but nice.

It made Gaara uncomfortable.

Said girl was currently leading him around school, winding through the hallways with a vice grip on the short boy’s wrist (who couldn’t get out of it no matter how hard he tried, much to his annoyance) and chattering nonstop about the various clubs and activities provided at Konoha.

“And the drama club is nice, but really pretentious. There’s a pair of twins there who’ll bite off your head if you show any bit of talent so if I were you I’d stay away. Far, far away.”

Gaara nodded every once in a while, pretending like he was listening when in actuality he was combing the halls for the group of boys from earlier, and most of all Sasuke. He shuddered slightly, flexing his fingers in shame and anger. He had lost control in front of Sasuke and learned that the guy never actually liked him in the first place all in one day.

Ino abruptly stopped, drawing Gaara out of his thoughts with a “We’re here,” and a soft, reassuring squeeze on his wrist. He looked up at the sign hanging on the wall in front of him and turned to Ino.

“The library?”

Ino nodded and smiled down at him. “Yep. Figured you’d like some peace and quiet after today.”

Gaara looked down at his shoes and grumbled noncommittally, tugging at the jacket Ino had let him borrow to cover his torn shirt. She had also helped him wash the remainder of the blood out of his hair and comb it back to normal.

**_‘What are you doing? You’re actually letting her take care of you? Jesus kid, remember what happened the last time someone was nice to you? You ended up in a dirty bathroom and he admitted he had hated you all along. You really want to go through that again?’_ **

Gaara resisted the urge to listen and beat the shit out of the girl like he was told before she could do it to him in favor of just nodding. “How’d you know?”

She looked down at him fondly and took a second to respond, anxiety building up in Gaara’s heart because _shit what if this was a set up and-_

“My younger brother has panic attacks once in a while and he always likes to cool off in a quiet place. Just thought it might be the same for you.” Without waiting for a reply she tugged him into the library, lowering her voice to a whisper to say “I have some friends I’d like you to meet anyways.”

Before Gaara could even protest she had sat him down at a table with three other occupants, all of whom looking up from their homework or books in surprise.

“Ino? Didn’t expect to see you in the library so soon,” a pale, handsome boy with long brown hair murmured, looking at Ino blankly before diverting his eyes towards a fidgeting Gaara. “Who’s this?”

“This, Neji,” she said almost proudly, “Is Gaara no Subaku. My new best friend actually.”

“What happened to Shikamaru?” a friendly looking girl with twin buns asked, smiling warmly at Gaara before addressing Ino. Ino frowned, huffing slightly in annoyance before speaking.

“Shikamaru and the rest of them are being assholes. Bullying is so middle school honestly.”

“Oh,” the boy who Gaara now knew was named Neji said before his pale eyes widened just a fraction. “Oh. Ino they didn’t.”

Gaara snapped his head around to look at the blonde girl, desperation pulling at his features because even if she seemed to somehow already know, no one else had to, no one else could-

“Yeah, they did, on his first day here too. Even according to them they just found him and decided to fuck him up for no reason.” She paused for a moment, beginning to smirk slightly. “Though you should see what he managed to do to Kiba’s face and Naruto’s arm. Apparently the kid packs quite a punch.”

And Gaara was about to prove it, about to prove just how hard he could punch because who the hell was she to spill his embarrassment to these random strangers who knew nothing about him and-

“You... You hit Kiba?” came a quiet voice, and Gaara forced himself to calm down enough to look towards the sound, locking eyes with a wide-eyed boy with an absolutely horrible bowl cut who had been silent the whole time up until now. And for some reason, the boy’s bizarre appearance managed to calm him down the rest of the way. He inhaled sharply before responding.

“Yes.”

One word. One word, but it made the strange looking boy’s face light up and break out in a huge smile, and Gaara felt blinded because no one had looked at him that way before

Well, maybe one other person, but Gaara pushed that thought down. It was no use to dwell on the past, even if the past had let his friends beat you up just a few hours prior.

“That is amazing!” the boy gushed, excitedly moving to grasp Gaara’s hand. Gaara flinched back and the boy looked momentarily troubled, and Gaara hated how guilty he felt for it, but as quickly as it had happened the boy was back to beaming at the redhead. “Barely anyone ever tries to stand up to Sasuke’s-” another flinch “-group and the fact you did so on your first day is so admirable I can’t-”

“Hey, quit loosing it over Gaara before the librarian comes over,” Ino whispered, an amused smile flickering across her face nonetheless. “You’re scaring the poor kid.”

“He’s not scaring me-” Gaara said crossly, only to be cut off by the friendly boy extending his hand across the table again and Neji sighing as if something inconvenient was happening.

“My name is Rock Lee, but you may call me Lee. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance!” He smiled warmly and kept his hand extended even when Gaara didn’t immediately take it, never once letting his gaze drop from the other’s face.

Gaara stared down at the hand numbly for a moment, waiting for his brain to catch up when he finally realized, that oh, this kid wanted to shake his hand and oh he was actually reciprocating the gesture, taking Lee’s calloused, warm palm in his own cold and clammy one and shaking it mechanically, and okay _maybe_ he held on for a bit too long but the other boy didn’t seem to mind at all and _maybe_ it actually felt sort of nice, but that didn’t mean _anything_.

Gaara only noticed he was blushing when he felt the heat rise to his face, quickly jerking his hand back and lowering his gaze to the wooden table top. He found himself suddenly very interested in the wood grain markings.

“...Right. So anyways, my name is Tenten,” he heard the twin-bun girl say, but it was like he was underwater or a great distance away from her, something other than Shukaku clouding his mind for the first time in a very long time.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Lee said, who hadn’t taken his gaze off Gaara once since he had sat down. “I hope we can get to know each other more in the upcoming year.”

“You too,” Gaara muttered, still not looking up. For once he actually meant it.

He didn’t see it but Lee’s face flushed a delicate shade of red right as the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. Ino clapped Gaara on the shoulder and pulled him up, waving to the group as she did so and Gaara mumbling a small “Goodbye.”

Only when they were nearly out of earshot did he hear Tenten teasingly say “Seems like you’ve got a new crush, Lee.” and when he didn’t hear any type of protest other than a small whine he allowed himself a small smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Ino tucked a pencil behind her ear as she waited at the school gates, typing a quick text to Choji since she hadn’t seen him yet today. Intent on catching her new friend and exchanging numbers she decided to hang back after the day ended. She looked down at her nails and sighed, the purple polish already chipping after attempting to scrub all the blood out of Gaara’s hair. A surge of white hot anger flew through her at the thought of what she’d do if she found out her brother was being treated the way the redhead was.

“Yahoo, Ino~” came a sickly sweet voice, and with a badly concealed groan she looked up to see Sakura trotting towards her, the usual group of boys not far behind. “How’s it going with your new boytoy? Never thought you’d be into freaky guys.”

Ino raised a brow and snorted before flashing the other girl a syrupy smile. “Oh it’s great, believe me. But I think I’d rather have him as a friend anyways.”

Sakura laughed gleefully as her eyes widened, cheeks puffing out in laughter. “Oh really? He’s too much even for you? That’s not surprising, even you’re not that creepy-”

“No, he’s actually really sweet and super attractive Sakura. The real creeps are the ones who’d fuck up a kid when he was having a panic attack.” She looked pointedly at all of the boys who had gathered behind Sakura, sending an extra-evil glare at Kiba who just scoffed. “Besides, I think he plays for the other team if you know what I mean. You should’ve seen the way he and Lee were acting, like the true love at first sight kinda shit.”

Sasuke looked up sharply at that, suddenly seeming incredibly agitated and Ino jotted the reaction down in her head. She took a calculated guess and looked directly into Sasuke’s eyes when she said, “And I don’t betray my friends. I bet they’ll be dating within a week tops.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened in shock and anger, hand tightening around the strap of his book bag and Ino smirked. Bingo. She’d always been good at that, getting in people’s heads, an ability that had gotten her labeled as a mean girl and ‘bitchy’ in the past, but now maybe she could use it for good. If Sasuke condoned the bullying of someone he used to call a friend, even if it was out of pity (which, after his scintillating reactions, she didn’t believe) then he really wasn’t that attractive to her anymore. It’d be good to make the little fucker squirm.

“In fact, once I get his number I’ll probably pass it along to Lee. They have such good chemistry, you feel? Sasuke, you know Gaara best, so tell me: do you think he and Lee would be cute together?”

“No,” Sasuke said sharply, causing everyone to look at him in alarm. He quickly appeared to calm himself down, taking a few deep breaths before scoffing and turning away from the group. “I mean, he wouldn’t be good with anyone. He’s just a burden as is. Besides, I doubt he can even feel love.”

The group erupted into laughter as Ino’s eyes narrowed, about to chew out Sasuke or for christ’s sake even deck him right then and there when her eyes widened in abject horror, catching sight of a small boy a few feet behind the group standing there, his face showing more shock than she’d seen it show the whole day combined, before his delicate features crumpled and his book bag fell out of his trembling hands with a loud thud, causing the rest of the group to look behind them and stare at Gaara’s pathetic figure.

If the laughter was loud before, it was deafening now, (Ino didn’t even register Naruto’s concerned expression) but Ino didn’t have time to listen to it, pushing past a shocked looking Sakura and rushing towards the shaking boy. She placed a hand on his shoulder, not surprised when he pushed her away harshly and sprinted off in the opposite direction.

“What the _fuck_ , Sasuke?” She screeched, heading over to the expressionless Uchiha and slapping him cleanly across the face, not even caring about the reactions she’d face later on. “What the fuck is your problem?!”

Sasuke staggered back, unprepared for the blow and tensing at Ino’s last sentence. Ino felt herself being pulled back by two people and let them, simply allowing herself to stare down at the handsome boy in disgust and taking a small amount of pleasure at the red handprint appearing on his cheek. She angrily shoved the two boys off of her and stormed off in the direction of wherever her new friend had gone, not paying any mind to the muttering of the group or Sasuke’s blank stare.

God, she _really_ hated boys.

——-

For the second time that day Ino searched the entire school, even checking both the library and the roof to no avail. Gritting her teeth she stepped out back where the dumpsters were and felt a rush of relief when she saw the telltale sign of red hair. Making her way over to the huddled boy, her frown deepened when she heard the faint sound of his voice, like he was repeating the same phrases over and over again despite him being alone.

“...Don’t, I’m sorry, okay? I can’t do it when he’s there I didn’t mean it I didn’t mean it I-”

Ino coughed loudly, causing Gaara to jump loudly and look around like a wounded animal, only relaxing slightly when he caught sight of her. He remained rigid, poised to flee at any moment, and Ino felt a twinge of sympathy pang at her heart. She stayed silent for a moment, not sure what to say. Only when she sensed the boy about to bolt did she decide to say the first thing that came to mind.

“How were you ever friends with that asshole?”

Gaara looked up at Ino, pausing in his escape attempt before settling back down on the ground and shrugging. “Dunno. He wasn’t like that back then.” He let out a hollow chuckle, hands beginning to absentmindedly fidget like Ino noticed they always did when he was uncomfortable or nervous. “Then again, I guess I didn’t really know him at all. I just thought he was my friend.”

Ino let out a snort and extended her hand down to Gaara, who hesitantly took it and allowed her to pull him up. “Sasuke’s full of shit, okay? Don’t take anything he says at face value.”

Gaara frowned at her, silence stretching as he waited for her to elaborate. Instead she just linked their fingers together and Gaara didn’t pull away. Smiling at this she handed him his dropped bag, and after his word of thanks interlaced their fingers and began leading him towards the school entrance.

“Besides, you can do so much better.”

The small boy flushed, glaring up at her to which she merely stuck out her tongue. “Speaking of which, you want to go over to Lee’s house? We’re having a study sesh there. It’s crazy, it’s just the first day and we already have so much homework. I swear to god if all of senior year is like this then I’m dropping out.”

Gaara’s scowled at the implication but made no attempt to dispute it. Ino ruffled the top of his hair and squeezed his hand gently. “I’ll take that as a yes.” After a beat of silence she spoke up again, “You know, I’m surprised you’re letting me hold your hand. You don’t seem like the touchy-feely kind of guy.”

Gaara looked away and shook his head. “You just... kind of remind me of my sister, Temari. And also like my brother.”

Ino grinned, this kid really was too cute. “I’m honored I remind you of them, even if I don’t know ‘em yet.”

He snorted, shaking his head again. “Trust me, it’s not a compliment to compare you to Kankuro.” She squawked and lightly hit him on the shoulder, causing him to snicker softly. She allowed her self to feel a small victory that he didn’t flinch away and held her head up high as she said:

“It has to be a compliment. If he’s anything like you he got cute boy genes to spare.”

Gaara looked at her in question, seemingly about to ask her something when they abruptly stopped in front of a nice two story house. “Here we are, Lee’s place and hangout central. He has really chill parents who aren’t home half the time so we can basically just do whatever we want.”

The boy’s eyes widened, opening his mouth only to be shushed by a manicured finger pressing against his lips.

“Shhhh, don’t talk. Just come in and enjoy yourself for once, alright?”

Gaara frowned but nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled into the house, looking around uninterestedly at the decor. It was the standard upper-middle class deal and Ino was pleased to see none of it seemed to be new him.

She led them up a white, carpeted staircase and down a hall to the second to last door, knocking briefly before throwing the door open and entering with Gaara right behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

Lee knew he got attached to people quickly, knew that he was very trusting and very open, almost too much sometimes. However, he also was very in touch with his own emotions, and knew when he was truly smitten with someone.

So when the cute new boy he had met during lunch was pulled into his room by Ino, he wasn’t surprised when he felt his face heating up, just smiled and gestured them over to the bed he was sitting on.

Ino immediately sat down, Gaara hesitating slightly before the blonde patted the comforter next to her and he sighed, stiffly crossing his legs on the bed.

“Hello, Ino, Gaara,” He said, frowning slightly when he noticed how uncomfortable Gaara looked. “How are you two doing?”

Ino sighed, rolling her eyes. “Hey, Lee. Sasuke and company are being dicks again and I’m just over it.” Gaara frowned at that but made no objections, and Lee squinted slightly at the reaction before diverting his attention back to Ino who began speaking again. “Where’s Neji and Tenten?”

Lee smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, they’re off well...”

Ino snorted and leaned back on her palms. “Of course they are. Why is it that the two hottest guys in school have to be dating someone, Neji with Tenten, and Sasuke with Naruto-”

Lee opened his mouth to disagree, but the words caught in his throat when he realized how Gaara’s eyes widened, how it looked like something shattered in them, and how apologetic Ino looked, immediately beginning to rub the short boy’s back.

“Is-is everything okay?” Lee asked tentatively, feeling unease build up in his chest. Ino looked over at Lee, then back to Gaara before speaking softly.”

“I don’t think we should-” She started but Gaara shook his head, surprisingly beginning to speak for the first time since they’d arrived.

“Me and Sasuke met as kids, and we... well, I thought we were... friends but I guess we actually weren’t. He told me today that it was out of pity, but it’s fine, I don’t care anymore.” He said, the indifference in his voice being betrayed only by the slight waver.

Lee felt a bad emotion stir up in his stomach, and he wasn’t sure what to call it. Anger? Sadness? It didn’t matter, he just knew he didn’t like it and wanted to do anything to make the redhead feel better.

“Sasuke... is an ass,” he said quietly, hands reaching out to grab onto the other’s much smaller palms, who startled backwards but didn’t pull away. “And I believe you will find someone much better, someone who deserves you.”

Gaara’s face flushed a brilliant red, eyes widening before he ducked his head and shrugged. “I don’t need anyone,” He mumbled, and Lee felt a fierce protectiveness surge up in him, and oh so that’s what that emotion was called.

“Yes you do! Someone much better than Sasuke, and I’ll prove it to you!” Lee’s eyes widened as he realized what he said, a blush that could rival Gaara’s lighting up his face.

There was a silence before Ino exhaled loudly, shaking her head fondly at the boys’ antics. “Right... so, we should probably all exchange numbers,” she said with a badly contained chuckle, pulling out her phone and unlocking it.

Lee perked up, taking this opportunity to release Gaara’s hands and nod, maybe a little too excitedly, getting out his own phone and typing in the passcode.

Gaara looked at them in slight confusion, face still flushed before he reached in his front pocket and pulled out a...

Beaten up old flip phone.

Lee and Ino stared at it in silence for a moment before exchanging a glance with each other.

_What._

Gaara’s look of confusion only grew as he watched their interaction, hand coming up to subconsciously pick at the scabbed over skin on his arm. Eventually Ino just shrugged before turning to the redhead and shaking her head.

“Gaara is that actually a flip phone? In our godly year of 2018?”

The boy nodded, nails digging deeper into his skin. “Yeah? So?”

Lee frowned at the action. “Nothing. Did your old phone break so you have to use that one until you get a replacement?”

Gaara shook his head, squaring his shoulders. “No? This is my newest phone.”

“What happened to your other one?”

Gaara looked out the window, whole body fidgeting. “It... broke. The top half snapped off.” He didn’t elaborate, nails finally scraping off the skin and little crescents of blood welling up.  
Lee startled at the sight of blood, arm shooting out to pull Gaara’s hand away from his skin. Gaara looked at him in shock before his eyes wandered over to his arm, eyes blowing wide when he saw the blood. Admittedly it was a fairly small amount but his breathing sped up, air coming out in harsh, ragged gasps.

Ino cursed, turning to put her hands on Gaara’s heaving shoulders and calm him down, leading him in breathing exercises Lee had seen her do with her brother before. It took around ten minutes until Gaara had finally calmed down, still shaking but calmer nonetheless. Ino sighed and rubbed Gaara’s back, the boy’s head down.

Lee sat there in shock, feeling unpleasant guilt that he hadn’t been able to do anything during the whole ordeal and had just watched.

They sat there in silence for a few more moments, Ino taking the opportunity to swap all their numbers, before Gaara looked up, traces of tear tracks etched on his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, eyes still lowered.

Lee’s eyes widened before he shook his head rapidly. “You have no need to apologize! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help more.”

Gaara snapped his eyes up to Lee’s, and Lee couldn’t help but reflect on how beautiful he was even in his distressed state. He had never seen someone with such finely formed features, someone who seemed so delicate they could just shatter like glass. Though, Lee cringed, he supposed the boy already had.

The fierce protectiveness surged through his body again and Lee found himself staring down at the boy equal parts intently and equal parts fondly. He knew, in that moment, that he wanted to fix him.

And when Lee set his mind to something he made sure to see it through.


	9. Chapter 9

Gaara arrived home a few hours later, happy to find the door unlocked. Hoisting his book bag up further on his shoulder he entered the large house, frowning when he noticed how dark it was. He was about to grow nervous when he heard the sound of the TV blaring in the other room and sighed in relief and annoyance.

Great, Kankuro had decided to turn off all the lights in the goddamn house just to watch a movie.

Groaning, Gaara dragged his feet all the way into the living room, flicking on the lights and hearing Kankuro’s indignant shout, the older boy turning around angrily on the couch to see who dared to disrupt his movie time. Noticing it was only his little brother he deflated a bit, glare still set firmly on his face.

“Oi, brat! What’re you doing?”

Gaara shrugged, a mask of indifference plastered on his face. He realized in the back of his mind that he had let the mask slip more on his face in that one day than he usually did in a year, and felt both parts uncomfortable and oddly free. “I wanted to see. Normal people like that, Kankuro.”

Kankuro snorted. “You really calling yourself normal?” He frowned slightly at the way Gaara’s lip twitched and belatedly realized Gaara had actually said more than three words to him.

“Hey... how was your first day at school?” He asked, slight warmth seeping into his voice. Gaara sighed, he knew that his older brother and Temari worried about him, maybe even liked him somewhat (He doubted that though, why would anyone? It didn’t matter anyways) and he found it annoying most of the time. Right now, though, he found his older brother’s concern didn’t bother him so much. It was probably just because of his aggravatingly emotional day.

Gaara’s lip twitched again, but this time it looked like he was concealing a small smile. He turned around and began to head out the room, pausing in the doorway.

“Fine.”

He heard Kankuro groan, and suppressed a smirk. As he headed up the stairs he didn’t catch the fond, brotherly smile directed at his back.

——-

Gaara sneezed, cursing his allergies as he laid on his back in the musty attic and stared at the rafters high above him. He raised a hand in the air lazily and followed the languid movements of his now bruised knuckles with tired eyes, stifling a yawn with his other hand. He really should sleep sometime soon.

Shukaku was quiet at the moment and Gaara was grateful. He was usually much more vocal in stressful situations and Gaara was numbly pleased to note he was relatively peaceful at the moment. It was nice even though his bedroom was, like usual, throwing him into a bout of sneezing.

_Ding!_

Gaara startled, confused for a moment before realizing his phone was going off. Scrunching up his face, he reached for it. He couldn’t remember the last time someone aside from Temari or Kankuro had texted him and that was rare as is. Neither of them had a reason to contact him right now either, so at the moment he was pretty much lost.

He stared blankly at the small screen as his phone alerted him he had a message from “Lee <3” and definitely didn’t feel a blush creep up his neck for the thousandth time that day as he wondered how Lee had gotten his number and how he was already a contact, before groaning as he remembered that after his episode Ino had stolen his and Lee’s phones.

He opened the message.

_-Hello! This is Gaara, correct? In case Ino did not input my contact information in your phone, this is Lee!_

Gaara snorted at the odd way Lee texted, feeling a nearly foreign sense of endearment flood through him. It was dulled but still a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years. He waited a moment before responding.

_-Yes. This is Gaara._

The reply was immediate.

_-That is perfect! How are you?_

Gaara stilled and debated with himself before answering.

_-Fine._

He typed out the short answer and hoped that Lee would take the hint, eyes widening as he heard his phone ding less than twenty seconds later.

_-I’m glad to hear it! Fine is much better than bad, though of course there is nothing wrong with being bad at times._

Before Gaara could even reply, Lee had sent another message.

_-I hope this does not seem too forward, but would you like me to show you around school tomorrow? I understand yesterday was your first day and you weren’t able to see all of the campus._

He thought about it for a moment, chewing his lip before deciding if the probable chance of Lee hating him and using this as an excuse to draw him out and attack him did happen, he could take the admittedly much taller and stronger looking male.

He sent back an affirmative, heart speeding up as Lee replied:

_-Wonderful! I cannot wait! :D <3_

He didn’t reply after that, just turning on his side on the cot and hugging the phone to his chest. Feeling more content than he had in years, he eventually allowed himself to let his eyes flutter close, the sweet embrace of sleep about to envelope him in her arms when a raspy, drunken voice ripped through his daze.

“Where is he?!”

He bolted upright, body jerkily moving to rush to his door, nearly getting close enough to lock it when it slammed open, the tall imposing figure of his father looming in the doorway.

Shit.

——-

He didn’t end up getting any sleep that night, back aching horribly and bruises blooming on his skin where no one else could see, the only sound registering in his blank mind being Shukaku’s voice.


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke was pissed to say the least but he couldn’t act like he was or his friends would ask.

And that pissed him off even more.

He didn’t know how she did, but he was certain Ino had seen through his bluff and knew what he and Gaara had once.

Not that it mattered anymore, the little creep had ruined it, fucking   
destroyed anything they might have had and any feelings he might have harbored.

Right?

Besides, he had Naruto now, someone, albeit annoying and infuriating and frustrating as hell at times, much better than Gaara ever was. He had no reason to protect Gaara, someone who had wronged him, and had no reason to be this fucking angry that he was following Lee around like a lost puppy.

White hot rage bubbled up in him as he saw Lee place a hand on Gaara’s shoulder and saw that Gaara only flinched slightly but made no move to back away. They stayed in that position until the bell rang, just talking, yet the hairs on Sasuke’s neck stayed raised until Lee removed his hand and ran off to his next class, Gaara’s expression falling back into it’s usual state of neutrality as he headed towards the gym. Sasuke followed the boy’s movements with his eyes, eventually pushing off of the wall he was leaning on and heading towards the gym himself. It was time for class after all.

He entered the locker room and headed over towards his friends, exchanging greetings with them and removing his shirt as he scanned the room for a certain redhead.

Only to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble or beating the shit out of someone of course.

His friends were laughing at something, probably making fun of Naruto for eyeing up Sasuke again when Gaara’s name caught his ear.

“...Yeah, he went and changed in a stall, fucking weird.”

Sasuke felt his eye twitch but stayed silent except for a scoff. His friends looked at him curiously and he subtly gulped, raising his head up high before speaking. “He’s insecure as fuck last time I checked and for good reason. Why wouldn’t he be?”

Naruto frowned and Kiba chose now to be the perfect time to speak up.

“Kid probably cuts himself or something like that, gross gashes up and down his arms and shit. Wanna bet?”

Sasuke’s fingers flexed around thin air, wishing he had a throat to curl them around instead as his friends laughed, some nervously.

“Hey... that’s kinda fucked up, Kiba,” Naruto said, hands fidgeting with each other as his frown deepened. A few people in the circle nodded and Kiba looked around incredulously.

“What? Do you actually think I’m wrong? Naruto, look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong.”

Naruto sighed, making no move to make eye contact. Shikamaru shrugged. “He’s probably right anyways. I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Sasuke slammed his locker shut loudly, causing his friends to jump and look at him in surprise. He frowned and jerked his head towards the gym.

“Let’s go. Class is about to start anyways.

His friends murmured their assent and began to follow him. Sasuke stopped just at the exit of the locker room and looked back at the stalls, seeing a small pair of sneakers in the gap between the stall door and the dirty tiled floor.

“Besides it doesn’t matter what’s on his body. Who would want to get close enough to find out?”

——-

“Dodgeball. Perfect.” Kiba grinned as he stared predatorily at the small redhead standing off by himself in the corner of the gym. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Gaara, wearing the unusual long sleeved shirt gym uniform option. What Kiba said couldn’t be true, Gaara had never mentioned anything like that...

Sasuke bit back a harsh breath as he took in how beautiful his former boyfriend was, light filtering in from the high windows and casting over the boy’s pale face. Even when they video chatted nightly he never got used to it. He guess he couldn’t really blame Lee for falling for the short boy, but he knew Lee would hurt him, that no one else could handle Gaara but Sasuke, that he was the only one right for him-

“Sasuke?” Naruto’s voice snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts, and he looked down at Naruto with more fondness than usual. “Hey, uh... why do you keep staring at Gaara?”

Sasuke blinked, and the lie came out easily. “I can’t stand him. He was fucking insufferable when we were kids, super clingy and annoying. I’m just pissed to see him again.”

Naruto’s brow furrowed but he looked somewhat relieved. “That’s kinda shitty, Sasuke... Whatever, I was just worried that you might...”

Sasuke smirked and grabbed Naruto’s chin, raising an eyebrow. “Worried I might what?” He didn’t wait for Naruto’s response, taking a quick glance to confirm that Gaara was looking at them before kissing the blond quickly.

The gut wrenching guilt was almost overshadowed by the vindictive pleasure coursing through his veins.

Almost.

——-

The dodgeball game was brutal to say the least.

Kiba and Shikamaru were made captains, Shikamaru getting stuck with Gaara who was unsurprisingly picked last, people muttering that they didn’t want a “scrawny fairy” dragging their team down.

“What a drag,” Shikamaru complained to his teammates. “Dodgeball’s already the worst and now we have this guy on our team.”

Gaara made no indication that he heard them despite being in the huddle, instead choosing to stare blankly at the wall over a teammates shoulder. Sasuke glared at the boy, both happy to be able to hurl a dodgeball at his stupid face and also disappointed to not have his stupid face on his team.

He heard Shikamaru sigh and tell Gaara just to try not to get hit and with that the coach blew his whistle and the game began.

Halfway in and his team was winning easily, and no one was trying to hit Gaara surprisingly as he wasn’t deemed a threat.

Until Sasuke felt a ball go whizzing past his head, nearly hitting him. He tracked the ball with his eyes and noticed with a growing panic that it was on a collision course right towards the small boy on the other side of the court. For a second he felt the horrible gripping reality that he wanted to intercept it, wanted the ball to hit him instead, when the slap of skin on rubber was heard.

Gaara had caught the ball, and Sasuke felt the panic he felt slip away and be replaced by relief and shock.

There was a beat of silence until suddenly Sasuke felt the air leaving his body, and for a split second thought he had been punched in the gut. No one moved, just staring at Sasuke when the coach blew his whistle and pointed at him.

“Uchiha, you’re out! Go sit on the bench!”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. He had never been hit in dodgeball before, never been sent to the bench, and he looked at Gaara who was staring blankly back at him, hands empty, and that’s when he realized Gaara had hit him with the dodgeball and gotten him out.

Slowly he made his way over to the bench, watching as people on the opposing team made their way over to Gaara and attempting to congratulate him because “Jesus, no one’s ever gotten Sasuke out before,” and sat down, an ugly feeling rising up in him. He was...

Embarrassed.

He hated it. He decided right then and there that he hated it and that he hated that the boy he loved made him feel this way. In his tirade he didn’t even notice his silent confession, trying to rack his brains because the Gaara he knew would never hurt him, and the only change he could think of was Lee, and that Lee must be influencing the small boy, turning him against Sasuke and that just wasn’t allowed.

He never once thought about the fact that his own group were the ones harassing Gaara, and that maybe he himself was the reason Gaara was acting like this.

He numbly watched the rest of the game, watched how Gaara was a significant help in taking out the rest of his team, and watched how the boy shrunk away from the praise and attempted friendly back pats, taking slight pleasure in how he wouldn’t let anyone touch him before he remembered that he didn’t flinch away from Lee and the feeling was gone.

——-

Gaara didn’t appear in the locker room after gym class ended so Sasuke hung back under the guise that he needed to talk to the coach. His friends left, grumbled discontent about Gaara leaving all of their lips except for Naruto (who had always seemed slightly uncomfortable when threats were made about the redhead) and Shikamaru who had just stayed quiet about the boy ever since his team won.

The bell rang signaling the end of school, and Sasuke was about to leave before the door to the dimly lit locker room swung open, Gaara’s small figure pushing past it.

Sasuke stayed hidden behind a row of lockers, watching Gaara intently as the boy exhaled shakily.

“Yeah, I know, okay? Just shut up.”

Sasuke winced as he listened to the boy talk to himself. He knew Gaara had... problems with hearing things, had talked about it to him back in sixth grade, about how confused he was when no one else heard what he did, about how he thought he was crazy. Gaara had stopped talking about it a few weeks later, so Sasuke had just assumed it went away and never brought it up again.

Evidently he had been wrong.

He quietly made his way over to the boy, the primal urge to comfort him taking over when he stopped, watching as Gaara took his shirt off and eyes widening in horror as he took in the multiple red welts along his back, sickly purple and yellow bruises wrapping around his sides and marring his pale skin.

“What the fuck,” He breathed out without thinking, Gaara whirling around in surprise and staring up at him, hands coming up to cover his chest which Sasuke noticed was also covered in bruises.

“Sasuke-?” He began before Sasuke cut him off, stepping forward to which Gaara took a step backwards.

“What happened?” He said uncharacteristically softly, a voice he had ever only used when talking to Gaara.

Gaara faltered, eyes softening momentarily at the tone, and Sasuke smiled in his head, bingo, before they hardened, and he took another step back.

“Why do you care? It doesn’t concern you,” The redhead bit out, glaring daggers at Sasuke.

Sasuke’s eyes widened as he scoffed, taking another step forward and causing Gaara to back up yet again until his back hit the wall and he let out a pained hiss.

“Oh,” Sasuke began, sneering down at Gaara who was practically trapped between the wall and him now, only a few inches of space between their bodies. “And who does it concern? Lee?”

“Lee? What-”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. He’s bad for you. He’ll just use you and drop you.”

Gaara’s eyes darted from left to right, and Sasuke felt pleased that the boy had nowhere to run, had to give his attention to Sasuke and talk to him, maybe like old times-

_“Fuck!”_

For the second time that day Sasuke doubled over, this time Gaara’s own head substituting for a dodgeball. In his crouched position he heard Gaara hurriedly gathering his things, and just as Sasuke found the strength to get up, Gaara’s cold, imposing tone kept him rooted to the spot.

“You don’t have to tell me who’s bad for me or who’s not. Don’t worry, I already learned my lesson with you.”

Sasuke grit his teeth, staggering into a standing position as Gaara neared the exit. “Stay away from Lee,” he rasped out, and the other stilled momentarily, as if about to say something before he bolted out the door, and as it swung shut Sasuke thought he heard a choked sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke’s kind of the worst right now, huh?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, this and the dodgeball match take place around a week after the first day of school.

Gaara’s phone lit up his dark attic bedroom periodically as he laid down, ignoring the screaming pain in his back. He gazed tiredly out the window, dried tear tracks staining his cheeks. He couldn’t find the energy to wipe them off.

His phone went off, the first actual phone call he had received in years he mused. He debated wether or not to answer it, eventually reaching over the side of his cot to pick it up off the ground and turn it off. He paused, noticing the call was coming from Lee.

**_‘He’ll only hurt you. Remember what happened with Sasuke?’_ **

Gaara sighed and accepted the call, holding the phone up to his ear. He didn’t have a chance to say anything before Lee was practically yelling in his ear.

_-“Gaara?! Are you okay? We were supposed to meet after school!”_

Gaara mentally slapped himself, he had completely forgotten after his run-in with Sasuke.

“...Fine,” He murmured, closing his eyes.

_-“Fine? What? Gaara?”_

“Oh I- I meant I’m fine. Sorry, I completely forgot.”

_-“That’s quite alright! I was just worried something had happened to you.”_

That was odd. He had expected Lee to be aggravated, angry even, that he hadn’t showed up. He sighed and laid on his back, making sure to be gentler this time. Something about Lee’s voice was soothing.

**_‘Soothing? Really, that’s what you’d call it? The kid who’d probably gut you at any chance like the others?’_ **

“Shut up,” Gaara mumbled, too tired to deal with Shukaku at the moment.

_-“Excuse me?”_

Gaara jumped at Lee’s voice, panic rising up in him until he realized Lee didn’t sound offended, instead almost... concerned.

“Sorry... Sorry, my brother was being annoying,” He lied, throwing an arm over his head.

**_‘Brother? You’re calling me Kankuro? I’m hurt.’_ **

Gaara smiled slightly and resisted the urge to chuckle, instead focusing on Lee’s voice.

_-“Oh, I understand! I do not have any siblings myself but I understand they can be quite the hassle.”_

Gaara made a noise of agreement, and there was a beat of silence. He didn’t like it for some reason, and was about to make the rare decision to break it when Lee’s rushed voice came through his phone.

_-“Would you like to do something with me this weekend?”_

Gaara paused and didn’t respond immediately, gears twisting in his head as he thought.

_-“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be-”_

“Like as... a date?”

There was another moment of silence, but no denial. He thought about it, he hadn’t known Lee for very long, but he had to admit he had grown remarkably attached to him already. Lee seemed genuinely nice and caring, spending every moment he could with Gaara and trying to help him in anyway he could.

His mind flashed back to what Sasuke said.

“He’ll just use you. Stay away from Lee.”

_-“Gaara, I am sorry, it doesn’t have to be if you do not-”_

“I’d love to.”

_-“What?”_

“I’d love to go on a date with you.”

He wasn’t going to let anyone, not even Sasuke, rule his life anymore.

He smiled when he heard how happy and flustered Lee seemed and spent nearly the whole night talking to the boy in hushed whispers, a privilege he hadn’t had in a long time.


	12. Chapter 12

  
“You what?” Ino yelled, slamming her book down on the table and earning some glares and shushes from the other library-goers.

Neji rolled his eyes but continued reading his book. “I was told by Lee that he asked Gaara out and he agreed. They’ve been going on dates for a few days now.”

Ino sat there in shock before pumping her fist up in the air, whisper-shouting, “Fuck yes! It was so obvious they liked each other!”

Neji’s lip twitched, like he was annoyed but also attempting to quell a growing smile. “Yes, it seems so. I think it will be good for Lee, I rarely see him this interested in someone.” Ino nodded, everyone knew Lee was a friendly guy but even he didn’t usually get attached to someone this quickly. “I think you should leave, by the way,” He murmured, nodding slightly at the furious looking librarian approaching them. “She doesn’t look happy.”

“Shit,” she cursed, pulling on her book bag. “Thanks, Nej. I owe you one.”

The boy merely nodded, turning back to his book. “I believe by now you owe me more than one.” Ino scowled but had no time to say anything else, pushing in her chair and rocketing out of the library. Thank god for track yet again.

She sighed in relief as she rounded a corner, safe from the librarians wrath. She adjusted her book bag when something very strong and very pink gripped her arm from behind.

“What do you want, Sakura?” She asked, ripping her arm away from the other girl’s bruising grasp and rubbing it.

“Is it true?” Sakura panted, clearly having ran to catch up to Ino. “Is it true that they’re dating?”

“Who?” Ino asked, looking around the hallways in search of a friend who could save her.

“The new kid and Lee. Gaara? I don’t know, the cute one.”

Ino stared down at her for a moment before rolling her eyes. “Uh yeah? Lee asked him out like a few days ago. Why?”

Sakura flushed a delicate pink, and Ino scowled when she was reminded of just how pretty the annoying girl was. “I- no reason.”

Ino looked her up and down before doubling over in laughter, much to the protest of the pink girl. “Oh- oh my god, ‘the cute one’ huh? You like him?”

Sakura’s eyes widened and she frantically shook her head. “What?! No, I mean sure he’s cute and all...” She looked around for a moment before lowering her voice. “But no.”

Ino was about to laugh again at the absurdity of the situation before a sobering thought came to her, and she stood up straight, crossing her arms and glaring at the other girl. “What happened to him being a ‘creep’ and ‘freaky’?”

Sakura looked down at her sandals and awkwardly shuffled her feet from side to side. “Well, um-”

“Oh, I get it, now that he’s all ‘Mr. Handsome’ you’re all over him huh?”

“No, I- Look, Sasuke and everyone keep talking about like... fucking him up or whatever, and it doesn’t sit well with me I guess now that I think about it. It just seems cruel now.

“It was cruel at the start, Sakura.” Ino bit out, turning to look at the other girl and pausing when she saw how conflicted and concerned she looked. “Hey-”

“Look, Ino, I know it’s fucked up and I know I was really shitty but I’m sorry okay? I feel really bad about it.”

Ino scrutinized her for a moment before sighing, slumping over slightly and placing her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “Hey, it’s whatever okay? They’re just being assholes, as long as you don’t condone it it’s fine.”

Sakura looked up at her gratefully, eyes shining with thanks. Ino’s lip twitched, and not for the first time she wondered why they stopped being friends. “It’s really okay?” The pink haired girl asked hopefully.

“...Yeah.”

“Good! Now seriously, tell me all about them.”

“Oh my god shut the fuck up, Sakura.”

——-  
Talking to Sakura again was nice. Annoying at times, but nice.

At lunch she and Sakura entered the cafeteria and lost in the throw of conversation she didn’t even notice they were headed towards Sasuke’s table until Naruto’s loud laugh snapped her out of it.

“Oh,” she said, sneering down at the group she hadn’t talked to in a while, taking extra care to let her cold gaze linger on Sasuke. “It’s you guys.”

Shikamaru exhaled through his nose, lazily lifting his hand in greeting. “Sup, Ino?” he drawled as Kiba furiously chewed his food, swallowing before grunting “Of course it’s us, it’s our table.”

“Mhm, I could tell by the absolutely enticing stench of testosterone,” she said, bringing a hand close to her face to examine her now badly chipped nails. God, she still needed to get that manicure.

“Oh come on, Ino, we all know you love testosterone.” Sakura said, sliding down next to Naruto and resting her chin on her fists. Ino rolled her eyes. Of course Sakura would revert back to bitchiness as soon as she got near anything attractive with a dick. She sighed, sitting down next to Shikamaru and fixing the other girl with a calculating gaze. “Last time I checked, Sakura, I wasn’t the one who asked out eighteen guys in one month back in ninth grade.”

Sakura gasped, face flushing as she opened her mouth to retort only to be cut off by Naruto.

“Whatcha doing here anyways, Ino? Don’t you usually eat lunch with Gaara now?” His tone carried no meanness, just pure curiosity as he shoveled another bite of food into his mouth.

Ino cringed at the display of him talking with his mouth full, about to answer truthfully that she hadn’t meant to end up here and that Gaara was probably just eating lunch with Neji, Tenten, and Lee, when she caught sight of Sasuke straightening up at the mention of the redhead.

“Yeah, well honestly the librarian’s pissed at me so I can’t really hang out there, and besides Lee and Gaara are eating with each other today. _Exclusively_.” She lied easily, emphasizing the last word as she caught Sasuke’s gaze

The one fist he had on the table clenched, and Ino smirked, grin widening when Sakura chimed in.

“Oh yeah, apparently Lee asked Gaara on a date!” She gushed, looking off in the distance dreamily and sighing. “I wish someone would ask me out on a date.”

Naruto scowled at her, about to interject when Sasuke suddenly stood up, head down and hair hanging in his eyes. Everyone looked up at him in confused silence except for Ino who just blinked. “I’m going to the bathroom,” He said lowly, turning and exiting the cafeteria.

Ino smiled like the cat that caught the canary.

“...Weird,” Kiba snorted, shaking his head. “Dude’s acting like he did back in elementary when his parents-”

Shikamaru silenced him with a sharp look as Naruto slammed a fist on the table, puffing up in anger. “Shut up, Kiba!”

Kiba had the grace to look slightly ashamed, slouching over slightly and messing with his hood. “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” He rested his elbows on the table and propped his head in his palm. “He has been acting weird though, ever since that Gaara kid showed up.”

Naruto tensed, suddenly looking antsy, while Shikamaru nodded in agreement, looking up at the ceiling before speaking. “He really has. Wonder what Gaara did to make Sasuke so angry.”

Ino choked on her food, turning to Shikamaru and slapping his shoulder. “Why do you assume Gaara did anything? If you haven’t noticed he hasn’t attacked Sasuke like you guys attacked him.”

“Well...” Kiba said, eyes sliding over to at Ino with a smirk, “You should’ve seen how he took out Sasuke in dodgeball.” Ino’s eyes widened and she laughed, clutching at her sides.

“Oh shit, really?”

Shikamaru nodded again, looking away from everyone. “That he did. Slammed the ball so hard into Sasuke’s stomach the poor guy probably threw up a little.” He cocked his head to the side before speaking a little wistfully. “The kid might be creepy as fuck, but he’s damn good at dodgeball.”

Ino wiped a tear from her eye, finally calming down enough to speak again. “Guess Sasuke deserved it. All of you did, fucking up Gaara like that on his first day.”

Naruto, who had been uncharacteristically silent since the mention of Gaara, surprised everyone by looking up, brows furrowed in apparent worry. “But- Sasuke said that Gaara-”

“Oh my god, shut up and read between the lines for once in your fucking life Naruto,” Ino hissed, glaring at the blond. Naruto felt threatened by the redhead, it was so obvious to her now. Her eye twitched as she saw everyone look at her in confusion about her cryptic statement and she huffed in annoyance, standing up and slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

She walked away a few steps before stopping and looking over her shoulder, letting her bitchy side take over.

“Keep an eye on your mans, Naruto, ‘cause he might not be yours for long.”

And with that she continued stalking off, not once looking back at the silent table.


	13. Chapter 13

Lee smiled over his lunch at Gaara, the other boy looking off into space. Lee noticed Gaara did that a lot, staring at seemingly nothing with eyes slightly unfocused. He wished he could see what the other did.

They were sitting on the roof, indeed eating lunch alone in a comfortable silence. It was a peaceful quiet, filled with the sounds of birds chirping and wind rustling through the trees. Lee enjoyed it more than words could express. He leaned back on his hands and basked in the sun, suddenly feeling exceptionally sleepy. He stifled a yawn, eyes beginning to droop closed when a raspy voice startled him awake.

“Lee?” The small boy asked, still looking off into the distance but eyes completely focused now, brow bone clinched slightly.

Lee sat back up straight, crossing his legs and giving the boy his undivided attention. “Yes, Gaara?”

Gaara fidgeted slightly, fingers intertwining and fumbling with each other rapidly. Lee frowned, wanting to reach out and grab his hands but decided to let him think for the moment. “Why do you hang out with me?”

Lee blinked, a frown stretching across his face as he watched one of the boy’s hands subconsciously move to pick at the skin of the other one, and shot out his own hand to grab Gaara’s wrist before he could dig deep enough into the skin and begin bleeding.

Gaara flinched, eyes flickering between his captured wrist and Lee’s face, scared expression faltering upon seeing the soft smile on the bushy browed boy’s face.

Lee ran a thumb soothingly over Gaara’s wrist, suppressing a frown when he felt the countless small scabs littering the boy’s skin under his calloused digit.

“I am sorry, Gaara, but I cannot allow myself to watch you hurt yourself,” he murmured, squeezing Gaara’s wrist comfortingly before releasing it. His heart squeezed painfully as he took in the look of utter confusion written along the small boy’s face, and felt regret that such an expression could cross such a beautifully youthful face.

He looked right into Gaara’s sleep-deprived eyes and brightened his smile.

“I hang out with you because I like you.”

The confusion on Gaara’s face grew, and he bit his lip before replying. “What? But why?”

Lee hesitated, eyebrows furrowing, and that was enough for Gaara’s expression to crumple before quickly being replaced with a mask of indifference, head turning to the side and looking away from Lee.

Lee panicked, hands reaching out before he could even think and resting on Gaara’s shoulders, he himself now feeling confusion as the smaller boy did not only flinch (which was expected by now) but also hiss in what seemed to be pain. Before he could blink, Gaara had his arm twisted in a vice grip, causing pain to shoot up to his shoulder and causing him to cry out. Just as soon as he was convinced his arm was about to break Gaara released him, and the white hot pain was mercifully replaced with just a dull ache. He held his arm and attempted to move it, pleased when he deciphered nothing was torn or broken, probably just going to have a nasty bruise or two and be sore for a while, when he looked up and caught sight of Gaara leaning against a wall, huddled into himself and rocking back in forth, muttering frantically.

Lee felt a new panic rise up in him, one even worse than when he had first seen Gaara bleeding at his house a week and a half ago. He got to his feet shakily and made his way closer to the trembling boy, reaching out his uninjured arm as if he hadn’t learned anything, only to be met with a hiss as Gaara curled into himself further.

“Gaara? It is okay, my arm is fine and-”

“No! I’m sorry, just go away!” The smaller boy screeched, ducking his head. “I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, just go!”

Lee faltered for a moment, hand falling back to his side. He looked around, praying that Ino, someone who knew how to deal with panic attacks, would miraculously appear out of thin air and help the suffering redhead.

He gulped, reaching into his pocket and getting ready to call Ino, when he heard the door to the roof slam open. He whirled around, mouth dropping when he saw Sasuke’s tall frame standing in the door way, the Uchiha’s eyes narrowing when he saw Lee and widening in... concern when he saw Gaara. Without saying a word he pushed passed Lee, shoulders knocking into each other, and strode towards Gaara. Lee shouted, moving to pull the person he knew bullied Gaara away from said boy but freezing when Sasuke simply crouched down next to Gaara, whispering seemingly comforting words Lee couldn’t make out and shushing him softly.

Lee watched in amazed disbelief as Gaara began calming down, much faster than when even Ino did it, and furrowed his brows at how caring Sasuke appeared to be. He didn’t understand why someone who had just beat up and harassed Gaara less than two weeks prior was attempting to calm him down, and why it was actually working.

He was snapped out his thoughts by Sasuke’s sharp voice.

“Leave.”

Lee blinked, shaking his head slightly. “Excuse me?”

Sasuke stared at him blankly. “I said leave. Now.” The handsome boy smirked slightly at the dumbfounded Lee before continuing, voice laced with venom. “He doesn’t need you now anyways.”

Lee’s eyes widened in surprise before they narrowed. “Absolutely not. You bullied him.”

Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance, not so subtly bringing the dazed, shell-shocked Gaara into a loose embrace.

Lee’s heart clenched as he noticed Gaara didn’t even flinch away, and swallowed thickly. Sasuke looked up at him, a bored expression suddenly crossing his face.

“Go away. We don’t need you here, and besides he’s obviously comfortable with me.”

_More comfortable than with you._

The unsaid words hung in the air, and Lee nodded stiffly, turning to gather his things and heading towards the door, stopping in the doorway.

“Sasuke...” He began, not looking at the other male. “If I find out you have harmed him in any way...”

“You will regret it.”


	14. Chapter 14

Sasuke smiled, embrace on Gaara tightening slightly. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. This was nice. This was how it was supposed to be. Gaara in his arms, safe and sound. Now all he had to do was wait for Gaara to come back to earth and they could talk.

God, it felt nice to hold him. They had never met in person before this year but he had helped calm Gaara down plenty of times before over video call or chat.

He allowed the anger he felt when he saw Lee and Gaara alone together on the roof wash away. Obviously Lee had said something to set Gaara off and hadn’t been able to help. Typical.

He was right, he knew he was. He was the only one who could handle Gaara, the only who could understand him. Gaara needed him, and he took solace in that, and soon all aforementioned anger was gone.

He absentmindedly played with a lock of Gaara’s hair, twirling the strands between his fingers and marveling at how soft they were. Just like he had imagined.

He let his hand rest softly on Gaara’s head, rubbing it comfortingly as he felt the boy stir, plastering a peacefully neutral expression on his face.

He heard him exhale shakily before tensing, evidently just realizing someone was holding him. He peered up, eyes blown wide as he realized it was Sasuke.

“Sasuke? What-”

Sasuke shushed him, subtly bringing the boy closer into his warmth and lightly resting their foreheads together.

“Hey, Mr. Subaku man.” He whispered, making sure to speak in the soft tones he always did when they were kids, knowing it would make Gaara calm.

Make Gaara see reason and come back to him.

Gaara didn’t speak, eyes softening at the tone and the nickname. “Sasuke...Ughiha,” he mumbled, eyes casting downwards. Sasuke grinned, and he knew in that moment he had him. “Where’s... where’s Lee?”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, good mood ruined. Right as he was about to say something he’s regret a light went off in his head and he sighed in fake disappointment. “He left.”

Gaara’s eyes snapped back up to him, mouth opening before Sasuke continued.

“He was leaving as I came up on the roof. Knocked into my shoulder too. He told me he couldn’t deal with it.” Sasuke shook his head in disgust. “Didn’t want to watch you ‘freak out.’”

Gaara let out a small strangled noise, something in his eyes breaking as a single tear built up in his eye. Sasuke shushed him again, wiping the tear away and pulling the boy closer to his chest. “It was disgusting.” He took a moment, pretending to think about something. “Guess I was right after all when I told you he was just using you, huh?”

Gaara didn’t say anything, but let his hands curl around Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, placing a hand under Gaara’s chin and tilting his head up so their eyes could meet. “He didn’t care about you. You know I was right, don’t you? You know I’m the only one who can handle you. I understand you, Gaara. You know that, right?”

Gaara didn’t break the eye contact, gulping slightly before nodding.

Sasuke smiled, cocking his head to the side and nodding back at him. “Good.”

And then, smile widening, he kissed Gaara sweetly. The boy didn’t reciprocate the kiss but he didn’t pull back, and Sasuke considered that a victory. It wasn’t exactly what he hoped their first kiss would be like, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke_Ughiha was Sasuke’s username when they were kids and Mr_Subaku_Man was Gaara’s.


	15. Chapter 15

A bad feeling churned in the pit of Lee’s stomach the rest of the day, and only intensified when Gaara didn’t show up to their shared history period.

At the end of the day he ran into Ino, who seemed awfully smug about something. Normally he would have been curious, but the uneasiness he felt overshadowed any desire to know he would have had.

“Lee? Earth to Lee?” He heard Ino say and he snapped his head up and looked at her.

“Yes?”

She sighed and flicked him on the forehead. “I was just talking about how I have work today and I was wondering if you’d be willing to sacrifice your very busy schedule and hang out there for a while.”

Lee bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. He was hoping to do something with Gaara today but he doubted that would happen now. “Sure,” He said as she thanked him, thankfully grabbing his uninjured arm and pulling him out to the back of the school where the road that led to the flower shop was connected.

They walked out in an unusual silence, Ino sensing that Lee wasn’t in the mood to talk. They were passing the dumpsters when they heard a deep voice speak.

“...Yeah, just call me Subaku.”

Both Ino and Lee stopped and shared a glance.

_What the fuck._

They simultaneously turned around towards where the voice came from and Ino snorted as they saw a guy in a black jacket with the hood up exchange a small bag with a student for a wad of cash.

The student left without a word and the hooded figure leaned against the brick wall of the school and pulled out a phone. Ino looked at Lee who shook his head ‘no’ frantically. Rolling her eyes she grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the stranger.

The stranger looked up, handsome face regarding them without much interest and sighing, kicking off the wall and crossing his arms. “Listen, what do you-”

“Do you know Gaara?” Ino blurted out as Lee ripped his wrist out of her grasp, rubbing it and wincing.

The stranger quirked an eyebrow and his shoulders slumped. “Maybe. Who’s asking?

Ino frowned, eyebrows pinching together. “Uh, only his best friend and his boyfriend.”

The guy’s eyes widened momentarily before relaxing. “Yeah, fine. He’s my brother.”

“You... You’re Kankuro?” Ino asked before nodding like something made sense.

The man Lee now knew as Kankuro slapped his gloved hand over her mouth.

“Just shout it out to the whole world, why don’t you?” He hissed as Ino scoffed and pushed his hand off.

“I’m surprised Gaara’s brother is a drug dealer,” She said, cocking her hip to one side and resting her hand on it.

“I’m surprised Gaara has a friend and another boyfriend,” Kankuro mused, looking between the pair.

“Why’re you surprised? And our names are Ino and Lee, asshole.”Ino said as Lee asked “Another boyfriend?”

The older male looked at them with a raised eyebrow before leaning back against the wall again and shrugging. “First, ‘cause Gaara’s shit at socializing.” Lee wanted to interject but with shame realized he couldn’t really deny it. “And second, Gaara had like an internet boyfriend from when he was around ten to sixteen. Guy named Sasuke I think. Uchiha? Something like that.”

Lee felt like the air had left his body. He very clearly could feel the walls caving in on him, could hear god laughing at him for placing him up against Sasuke of all people, the most popular boy in school.

“What the actual fuck,” Ino cursed, letting out a hollow chuckle that Lee barely heard amidst his current crisis. “That asshole goes to our school.”

“Seriously?” Kankuro let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Gaara really does have the worst luck.”

Ino looked up Kankuro and frowned. “Whatever, that’s not important.” She took a moment, choosing her words carefully. “It’s just... is he okay? I don’t mean to like offend or anything, I’m just-”

“Why?” Kankuro asked sharply, suddenly much more alert. “Fuck, did he hurt someone?”

Lee stilled, and Kankuro looked at him, about to say something when Ino spoke up. “What? No, unless you count himself.”

Kankuro’s eyes flickered with concern before sighing, shoulders slumping. “That’s good. I mean, not good that he hurt himself, good that he hasn’t hurt anyone else.”

Ino bit her lip and Lee knew she was thinking about Naruto and Kiba.

“But yeah,” Kankuro began, nodding. “I guess you could say there’s something something wrong with him.”

“What is it?” Ino said, and Lee for the first time wanted to slap the girl, shocked she would ask something so personal. But Kankuro just sighed and continued.

“Gaara’s got schizoaffective disorder,” He murmured, voice low. Ino and Lee shared a confused look before Ino turned back to Kankuro.

“You mean like schizophrenia?”

Kankuro shook his head before pausing and nodding slightly. “No... well kind of I guess. It’s fucked, okay? It’s like a mix of bipolar and schizophrenia.”

Ino’s eyes widened in shock, and Lee was sure if he could see his face it’d be in a similar state.

“I just thought he had really bad anxiety or something...” She whispered, fingers reaching up to mess with her ponytail. “Doesn’t he have like medicine to help with that?”

Kankuro locked his jaw and looked to the side, gaze hard. “He should, but our dad won’t pay for it. Or therapy.”

Lee’s brow furrowed, speaking up suddenly. “But- but isn’t there such a thing as financial aid or-”

Kankuro let out a humorless chuckle, fixing his gaze on Lee with an unreadable expression. “I never said he couldn’t pay for it. I said he wouldn’t.”

Ino and Lee stood there in silence, and Lee felt both a growing sense of horror and rage build up in him. The protectiveness he had been feeling grew insurmountably and he felt his hands clench into fists.

The silence stretched longer, a light drizzle beginning to rain down on them when Kankuro suddenly grabbed a fistful of Lee’s shirt collar, gaze steely as he glared down at the younger.

“Oi, and if I find out you brats told anyone about this, I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.”

He released the now coughing Lee and turned on his heel, hands jamming into his pockets as he said one more thing.

“And... thanks for looking after my little brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally do not have schizoaffective disorder, but at one point in my life my psychiatrist thought I might (it ended up just being bipolar with psychosis, which I wouldn’t even be telling you if it weren’t for the fact that this is anonymous lol) but when they first told me about schizoaffective I had no idea what it was and that’s because it’s not talked about despite it being a very real disorder.  
> I often see people writing Gaara as schizophrenic but I thought schizoaffective might fit more since the violent acts he committed in the series could potentially coincide with the bipolar aspect (i used to get in lots of physical fights before we got my anger better managed) and also because of the personal reason.
> 
> And also yes Kankuro is a drug dealer.


	16. Chapter 16

Gaara lay in Sasuke’s hold under a myriad of blankets, feeling warmer and safer than he had in what felt like forever. The taller boy was playing with his hair and placing occasional kisses on the top of his head and Gaara felt himself leaning into Sasuke’s touch.

“You know I love you, right?” Sasuke asked and Gaara nodded, curling into the other boy. He felt Sasuke’s lips curl into a smile against his head and he sighed. Sasuke had been periodically asking him questions like that and he was getting too sleepy to answer.

He felt Sasuke open his mouth, about to ask another question, and made the choice to speak instead. “I never knew your house was this big,” he mumbled, eyes fluttering open and closed in tiredness.

Sasuke snorted and pulled Gaara closer to him, their bodies flush against each other. “It seems even bigger when it’s just two people living in it.”

Gaara hummed. “Where is Itachi anyways?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Business trip or something. I don’t care.”

“Sure.”

The Uchiha pulled the smaller boy’s head from his chest and maneuvered them so they were eye level. “Oh yeah? What’s that supposed to mean.”

“I was just agreeing with you,” Gaara said, eyes shutting finally. Sasuke frowned and ran the pad of his thumb over the other boy’s cheek.

“When was the last time you slept?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

Gaara grumbled noncommittally, green eyes opening to half lids and staring into Sasuke’s own dark ones. Sasuke rolled his eyes and adjusted them so he was on his back and Gaara was resting on his chest.

“You should sleep,” He murmured. “I won’t hurt you.”

Gaara’s eyes shot open again and he looked down at Sasuke suspiciously. “What?”

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. “I was just saying I’d never hurt you. I wouldn’t do what everyone else would.”

Gaara scoffed, trying to move out of Sasuke’s hold to no avail. He was nowhere near as strong. “You’d never hurt me? Yeah, you’d just let your friends and your fucking _boyfriend_ do it for you,” He hissed out, letting out a sharp yell as Sasuke tightened his grip on him.

“Shut up! I wouldn’t hurt you! You’re the one who hurt me!” He bit out, eyes flashing in apparent triumph when Gaara stopped struggling and slumped down at his words.

**_‘He’s right, kid. You left him and hurt him. It’s only fair that he gets to hurt you too’_ **

Gaara choked back a cry, a wave of remorse flooding through him as Sasuke continued.

“You left me when I needed you the most, and you know what’s funny? I don’t blame you for it. You’ve always had my heart and that hasn’t changed even though you abandoned me. Ripped it out and ran with it. Why’d you do it, anyways? Thought you didn’t need me anymore? Or was it-”

“My dad,” He choked out, hands reaching to grip at Sasuke’s shoulders, speaking despite his instincts screams to not reveal a weakness.

Sasuke stopped his ranting, looking at Gaara blankly. “What?”

“My- My dad,” He continued, hiding his face in Sasuke’s chest. “My dad, he found my laptop. It wasn’t even mine, it was Kankuro’s old one he gave me- whatever, my dad found it in my room and he, he freaked out and snapped it over his knee, threw it out and I-”

Sasuke hadn’t hadn’t made a noise the whole time Gaara had spoke and Gaara felt his heart rate speed up because his instincts were right, he had made himself seem pathetic and now Sasuke would hate him even more.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen, I’m sorry-”

Sasuke cut him off with a kiss, and Gaara almost startled back. He controlled himself and returned it, feeling tears leak out of his closed eyes. Sasuke brought a hand up to rest on Gaara’s cheek and caressed it gently.

Sasuke pulled back after a moment and brushed the hair out of Gaara’s eyes, looking at him with a mixed expression that Gaara couldn’t find the energy to panic about.

“I didn’t know.” Sasuke said, tone even, but Gaara was nearly convinced there was underlying remorse. Gaara shrugged and laid his head back on Sasuke’s chest. “It’s whatever,” the short boy murmured, letting his eyes close for real this time.

“You know I love you, right?” He distantly heard Sasuke say, already falling asleep for the first time in a long time.


	17. Chapter 17

  
Gaara returned home early that morning from Sasuke’s house, sliding out of the other boy’s embrace and slipping out of the Uchiha manor into the dim early morning light.

It was quiet, both outside his head and inside it. _Not that you can tell the difference,_ he chided himself, but ignored his own thoughts. It had always been easier to disregard his own thoughts than on the occasions where they were someone else’s. He often felt that some of his thoughts weren’t actually his, like someone else was using his brain as a holding place for their own.

Shukaku was a different matter completely, and speaking of...

 ** _’Fantastic Gaara. Really fantastic’_ ** The familiar voice said to him, and Gaara sighed heavily.

“Was really hoping you wouldn’t talk about it,” He said, looking behind him as he walked, the familiar feeling of paranoia curling in his chest. He could feel eyes on him already.

 ** _‘Fine, fine. Kankuro’s probably still asleep, lazy fucker,’_** Gaara snickered at that and hummed in agreement.

“Yeah...”

He walked in silence, the quiet returning to him but the peace remaining unattainable. He quickened his pace, lowering his head and subconsciously letting his fingers reach his upper arm and begin picking.

Just as he felt like his head was about to explode, just as he felt he was about to be attacked, Shukaku’s voice brought him to a halt. **_‘We’re here.’_**

Gaara looked up, realizing that indeed they were at his house and that he would’ve just walked past it had Shukaku not stopped him. He murmured a quick thanks before he moved to open the door and froze, finding it locked

_Oh fuck._

He didn’t have a key, had never been given a key, and now would have to wait outside until Kankuro woke up which probably wouldn’t be until hours from now.

Hitting his head against the door frame he groaned, because great, now not only did he have to sit outside for god knows how long, now he had to do it with a splitting headache. He turned around and slid down the wall until he was resting on the steps, fingers beginning to fidget, twisting his knuckles with the opposite hand and picking at the scabbed over skin.

He continued like this for at least ten minutes, breaths growing increasingly harsher and faster as he felt his paranoia closing in on him, wishing to just be inside and somewhat safe when a familiar voice rang through his thoughts.

“Hey.”

He startled, head jerking up and shoulders relaxing when he realized it was only Temari. “Hey,” He replied, looking over his shoulder quickly before focusing back on his sister who frowned slightly.

“What’re you looking for?” She asked, already knowing the answer. Gaara just shrugged, eyes darting from side to side frantically before focusing on the ground.

She sighed, extending a hand down to her twitchy brother who regarded it carefully before taking it, allowing himself to be pulled up. She smiled fondly down at him and Gaara rolled his eyes. She was only a couple of inches taller than him yet she acted like it was a foot. She ruffled his hair for as long as Gaara would let her before she dropped her hand back to her side.

“What’re you doing outside?”

“Locked out,” he muttered, clutching his upper arm with a hand. Temari pursed her lips but said nothing, instead moving to unlock the door and push it open. “Right. Go on,” She said, gesturing for the boy to head in.

Gaara nodded his thanks to her, grabbing his book bag up off the ground and walking inside.

“Gaara,” Temari called out to him as he neared the stairs. “Come talk to me in the kitchen for a little.”

He opened his mouth to object and normally he would’ve ignored her and gone up to the attic anyways. He closed his mouth and nodded stiffly, not missing her surprised expression at his agreement.

——-

“So, how’s school? Made any friends?” She asked, sitting at the counter while Gaara cooked breakfast. The boy stilled before shrugging, pouring more sugar over the frying pan.

“I think so,” He said evenly. The silence that followed made him square his shoulders, tone biting as he continued. “Why? Does that surprise you? Didn’t think anyone would like me?”

“No!” she exclaimed, offense clouding her features before softening. “Of course that’s not what I meant. I was just-”

“Just what?”

“Just happy, okay?” She huffed and rolled her eyes, laying her head in her arms on the counter. “So happy I didn’t know what to say.” Gaara felt his posture relax and he nodded, guilt washing over him.

“Oh.”

She nodded and hummed as Gaara turned to face her, placing a plate of french toast in front of her. She thanked him, cutting into her toast before pausing. “How’s the... everything? Voices and delusions and all that?”

Gaara dropped the plate he was holding, the white ceramic shattering as it hit the ground. Temari flinched. “Hey look, that was tasteless of me but I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine,” His deadly quiet voice interrupted her. “Everything’s fine, and I don’t have ‘delusions,’ that’s actually bullshit and you know it.”

Her silence was enough to set him off, for him to grab the plate nearest him and send it flying towards her head. She let out a yelp and ducked just in time, the plate hitting the wall behind her and smashing into countless pieces. Gaara seethed, hands clenching and unclenching as he grit his teeth, glaring holes into the floor. He registered Temari’s head reappear above the counter and felt a heavy sense of remorse hit him at the slightly frightened expression on her face, turning on his heel and bolting towards the stairs.

She didn’t follow.

——-

Gaara emerged from the attic a few hours later, heading downstairs in an uncharacteristic attempt to apologize to Temari for his freakout when he heard hushed voices coming from the living room. He silently crept closer until he was just outside the room, pressed beside the doorway, and listened.

“Listen, I don’t know what to tell you.” A deep voice said, Kankuro’s, and he heard a frustrated sigh in reply.

“He’s getting worse, Kankuro, okay? He had another outburst and I caught him talking to himself again this morning,” He heard Temari say, and his eyes narrowed. He wasn’t talking to himself, he had been talking to Shukaku.

“Look, it concerns me too and it sucks but I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“I don’t know, maybe use your ‘connections’ to get the medicines he needs? Can’t you do that at least?”

There was a beat of silence before Kankuro sighed. “I don’t even know what to get.”

“Latuda? Lithium? Both?” She whispered and Gaara heard her groan softly. “I looked it up and those seem appropriate.”

“How do you expect me to pay for them?”

“I’ll cover it. I’ve been working extra shifts at the company lately so I probably can-”

“I’m not crazy,” Gaara said lowly, stepping into the room. Temari jumped while Kankuro stiffened, both looking at their little brother warily.

“Gaara! No one said you were, we just-”

“I don’t need any meds,” He muttered, nails digging into the palms of his hands. “I’m not sick.”

Kankuro sniffed, rolling his eyes. “What you need is to calm down. You know, I actually have a few things on me right now-”

“You are not giving our little brother drugs, Kankuro!” Temari hissed at him, slapping his shoulder before turning to Gaara and smiling placatingly. “Gaara, we-”

“You were just trying to get him to give me drugs,” Gaara said, raising his head to stare coldly at his sister. “Why is this any different?”

“Because these are ones that can help you-”

“I don’t need any fucking help, okay?!” He yelled, shocking her into silence. Kankuro narrowed his eyes and took a step towards him, mouth opening as if to berate the younger boy before Gaara slammed his fist into the wall beside him, feeling rage burn up his insides as his knuckles punctured through the drywall.

Kankuro and Temari stared at him in shock for a moment as his chest heaved and he pulled his hand away from the hole.

“You brat! The hell am I supposed to tell dad-”

“Kankuro!”

Gaara cradled his hand against his chest, realizing numbly that now both of his hands were bruised. At least the other one had healed considerably but he could tell this one was much worse. He let out a hoarse whimper and Temari turned towards him.

“Oh, Gaara, did you-”

He nodded, and in a moment of weakness showed her his swelling hand. She came forward slowly and examined it gently, tsking as she took in the damage. “One of his knuckles might be broken.”

Kankuro cursed, squeezing his eyes shut. “What do we do? We can’t take him to a hospital, dad would never pay for it.”

Temari bit her lip as Gaara realized he didn’t even care that what Kankuro said was true. He just listened in on their conversation as though he was an outsider.

“Well, the hospital wouldn’t have been able to do much for this anyways. Just get me some ice, gauze, and medical tape for now.”

——-

Gaara entered the school building an hour late that day, hand throbbing and covered in mess of gauze and tape that extended down to his wrist to keep it secure. Temari had concluded that most likely two of his knuckles were fractured, if not completely broken, given him several advils, and sent him off to school. He twitched his nose and waited in the office until the bell rang and signaled the end of first period, nodding at the nice office lady who had offered him a mint (he declined, you could never be too careful with what people might have put in food), and mused that maybe the reason he started cooking his own food was because of that one time his father had tried to poison him.

He kept his head down as he walked through the crowded hallway, eyes flickering left and right until he caught sight of Sasuke. He lifted his head, opening his mouth to call out a greeting when he stopped. Sasuke had his hand clasped around his boyfriend’s and was laughing at something the blond had said, flicking him lightly on the forehead. Gaara shut his mouth and bit down on the pad of his thumb, turning away from the scene and continuing to his next class, a feeling of emptiness encompassing him.

——-

He should have expected this. He should have expected going to the bathroom during a break between bells after he had a class with Kiba would have ended this way.

He had just been washing his hands, turning off the faucet and raising his head when shit, he looked in the mirror in front of him and met eyes with Sasuke’s boyfriend, Naruto.

“Sup?” He heard the blond say to him, voice level but teeming with irritation. Gaara didn’t reply, wiping his hands on his jeans and turning to leave when a hand slammed against the wall next to him, Naruto caging him against the wall. The blond boy scowled at him, and Gaara realized with annoyance that although the boy was short, he was still taller than him.

“I asked you a question,” Naruto said, and if Gaara cared at all he would have noticed that the other really didn’t seem like he wanted to be there. Gaara slid his eyes over the blond’s shoulder and caught sight of Kiba standing near the doorway, effectively blocking his exit. Gaara sighed and shrugged before speaking. “Nothing much.”

“Yeah? Fuck any guys recently?” He heard Kiba ask and his eyes widened.

“What?”

“Yeah, you’ve got Lee wrapped around your little finger don’t you?” Kiba bit out. “Don’t know why he’d want to hang around you anyways.”

Gaara opened his mouth to speak, to tell them that no Lee didn’t actually like him and why the fuck did they care anyways, when Naruto spoke.

“I- I don’t know who you think you are, but leave Sasuke alone!”

The redhead was silent for a moment, looking at the blond boy incredulously before beginning to laugh loudly. Naruto looked back at Kiba in confusion, but the other boy looked just as lost as he did. Neither of them knew what to say as the small boy wiped a tear out of his eye, situation seeming so absurd it just couldn’t be real.

“Okay,” he wheezed out, shaking his head in mirth. “Okay, I get it, I get it, can I leave now?” He placed his unbroken hand on Naruto’s shoulder, who let out a strangled yelp before pushing it away with enough force to accidentally push Gaara to the ground.

“What the fuck? What the fuck are you laughing about, huh?!” Kiba asked while Gaara’s head hit the wall with a sickening crack. Gaara barely even registered the pain, it probably wasn’t real anyways.

“Shut up!” He heard Kiba say, and suddenly the kicks to his stomach increased, both in intensity and quantity. He felt himself curling into a ball as he attempted to wake up out of this, the kicks moving to his healing ribs.

His senses returned to him and suddenly everything was all too real as he heard the bathroom door slam open and heard a familiar voice.

“What the hell are you doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever heard of a reality break? It’s a thing that can happen with people who experience psychosis, it’s a (usually) temporary sort of delusion where the victim of which believes that they’re in a kind of dream-like state and that what’s going on around them isn’t actually happening, and thus there are no actual consequences for their own or others actions. Gaara was experiencing that in the final few paragrahs of this chapter. I myself have never just been stunned out of one like Gaara was by Sasuke, but I imagine it could happen lol.


	18. Chapter 18

Sasuke was pissed again when he woke up to find Gaara out of his arms and out of his house without so much as a note. He narrowed his eyes and he sat up, blankets falling off his shoulders and pooling around his waist. He raised a hand to his chest, placing it just above his heart and frowned when he found it wasn’t warm from Gaara’s body heat anymore. It was cold and all of him felt cold.

His eyes widened and he cursed loudly as he looked at the clock finding that he had slept through his alarm.

It was going to be a long ass day.

——-

He greeted his friends at the school gates, pecking Naruto on the lips and realizing with a start how different it was from kissing Gaara.

With Naruto it was... nice. He liked it, it made him feel good. But with Gaara it was something different, it was like how all those romance novels Itachi used to read said it would be and more. It was slow, languid, or rough and passionate, and it could either set off fireworks in his mind or flood heat throughout his whole body. He wondered if it could potentially do both at the same time and resolved to find out.

He found himself spacing out more often than usual during the day much to his friends teasing and Naruto’s worriment. He couldn’t find it in him to care though, just linked hands with the blond in hopes it would quell his anxiety.

It seemed to work, it really did, and Sasuke patted himself on the back for adverting a crisis. He went throughout the rest of the day just fine up until he had to take a piss after fourth period and walked in on Kiba beating up the love of his life and his boyfriend just watching.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, tone even but body rigid.

All three looked up at him, and Naruro rushed towards him, waving his hands frantically. “Ah, Sasuke-”

Sasuke pushed past him, past Kiba who had backed up, and stood over Gaara who looked up at him, eyes clouded with emotions he couldn’t read. Sasuke sighed and extended a hand down to the boy that Gaara looked at in shock, face scrunching up. Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook his hand slightly, face lighting up in satisfaction when Gaara’s expression relaxed into one of gratefulness, hand reaching up to take Sasuke’s when-

“Sasuke?” Naruto’s clear voice startled Sasuke so bad he jerked his hand back just as Gaara’s was about to take his and he realized that he did so with the smile still on his face.

A smile Gaara wouldn’t know the true reason for.

Sasuke felt his world break as Gaara’s expression shattered, as Kiba’s laughter rang throughout the room, as Naruto placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him backwards, out of the bathroom, into the hallway, and away from Gaara.

Sasuke said nothing as Kiba patted him on the back, praising him for the great ‘gag’, as Naruto stood uncharacteristically silently, as the bell rang for next period and as he noticed Gaara didn’t leave the bathroom and that no sounds came from it.

——-

Gaara didn’t show up for gym and Sasuke took out his frustration on the game of basketball they played. He ended up getting fouled more than once and having lots of time on the bench to think.

He had to apologize, he knew that. He would just wait until Gaara was alone and make him see reason. Again. He knew they both couldn’t survive without each other.

He exhaled and rubbed his palms together, satisfied with the plan. As the bell rang for the end of class he changed quickly, brushing off his friends without a word and pulling out his phone.

Mercifully he had the foresight to take the opportunity of Gaara sleeping to put the redhead’s number in his phone.

_-Hey, can we talk?_

When he didn’t receive an answer he angrily stuffed his phone in his pocket and headed to the office, turning on his charm as he told the lady at the front desk that he needed to return something to Gaara, and could he please have the boy’s address so he could get it to him?

The lady smiled and gave him the address easily and Sasuke smirked in his head as he thanked her.

Shikamaru was wrong. Women weren’t a drag, they were easy.

——-

He hesitated slightly, staring at the house number and making sure that yes, this was the right place. Swallowing down any doubts he might have had he knocked on the door sharply and waited until the door opened, a tall figure looking down at him suspiciously.

“What?” The man asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Sasuke forced a smile, this guy wasn’t old enough to be Gaara’s dad so it had to be his brother, Kankuro. “Yo, I’m here to return something of Gaara’s,” he repeated the lie, subtly attempting to look over Kankuro’s shoulder and further into the house.

Kankuro noticed, raising an eyebrow and adjusting his position so Sasuke could see even less. “Is that so? Give it to me then, I’ll hand it over to him.”

Sasuke froze, smiling slipping from his face momentarily before fixing itself back into place. “It’s good, I can just give it to him myself.”

“What’s it that you need to give him?”

Sasuke let his smile fall for real this time, an irritated expression taking over. “Look, just let me speak to him and-”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. Look, I don’t know who you are, kid, but there’s no way I’m letting some prick who I don’t know and who won’t even answer my questions be around him.”

Sasuke grit his teeth, temper flaring up because even if this guy was Gaara’s brother he had no right to keep Sasuke away from him. “You want to know who I am? I’m Sasuke, and-”

“Sasuke?” Kankuro said, eyes widening for a second before narrowing. “Huh. I expected you to be more impressive.”

Sasuke faltered. “What?”

“You were my brother’s internet boyfriend for like five years, right? The way he talked about you I just assumed you’d be something better.” Kankuro shrugged and crossed his arms.

“I’m still his boyfriend,” Sasuke said without thinking, and at Kankuro’s bewildered look he straightened up. “We never actually broke up.”

Kankuro regarded him for a moment before letting out a low chuckle. “I don’t think he sees it that way. He’s actually off with his new boyfriend right now.”

Sasuke’s eyes blew wide open, hands immediately clenching into fists and posture tensing. “He doesn’t have a ‘new boyfriend.’” He spat out. “He only has the one.”

Kankuro smirked down at him, but his eyes were wary. “Yeah, and the one is that other guy.” He took in Sasuke’s bristling form and placed his hand on the doorknob. “You’re obsessed, kid. Get some help.” With one final glance at the younger boy he shut the door and Sasuke vaguely heard the sound of locks clicking.

He scoffed, turning on his heel and trudging away from the door. He wasn’t obsessed. He was just in love, and he wanted to keep Gaara safe and close to him. If that was criminal now then lock him up.

With Gaara in the same cell, of course.


	19. Chapter 19

The silence was wholly uncomfortable Gaara decided as he sat across the small round table from Lee. He also decided that he wanted to be here no matter how badly the thought of Lee not wanting to deal with him still stuck in his mind. He let his gaze linger on Lee and took a small sip of his drink, finding himself mildly upset at how awkward the other boy looked with a small bead of sweat making its way down his tanned forehead.

“...Lee?” He asked, breaking the silence. The wide eyed boy jumped in his chair and turned towards Gaara, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“Y-yes?”

“Do you hate me?”

Lee’s already large eyes widened considerably in surprise and he shook his head frantically. “What?! No! Why would I?”

Gaara shrugged and twirled his straw around in his drink. He looked at the sign of the café they were seated outside of and sighed. “You left. I don’t blame you, I was just wondering if that’s why you did.”

Lee shook his head again. “No, I left because... Sasuke had it under control.” He finished in a slightly defeated tone, shoulders sagging.

Gaara looked up at that, eyebrow quirked. Sasuke had recounted something completely different. Though, he thought, Sasuke had said a lot of things. A lot of things that didn’t match up to how he treated him, and a hollow pain felt like it was carving out his insides as he remembered the most recent scene in the bathroom. “Really? I had thought you just didn’t want to deal with me.”

“No, there was just someone who could deal with you better.”

“Huh.”

Gaara looked down at his gauze encased hand that he had kept hidden under the table, wishing he could get access to the skin and rip it off.

“Gaara,” Lee began and Gaara looked at him, a blank expression on his face. “What happened between you and Sasuke?”

Now he really wished he could get to his skin.

“What do you mean?” He asked maybe a little too sharply and watched as Lee deflated.

“I- I just mean, on the roof, after-”

“Nothing happened,” Gaara said, the lie coming out a little too easily. “He just left after I calmed down.”

He watched with interest as Lee noticeably perked up, a sickly feeling of guilt beginning to gnaw at his insides.

“Ah- ah, okay, in that case...” Lee took a deep breath and puffed out his chest and Gaara managed a small but fond smile. The taller boy suddenly bowed his head, tone shaking with determination. “Would you do me to honor of formally being my boyfriend?!”

Gaara choked on his drink, bringing both hands up to try and get a grip on the edge of the table and Lee frowned before his eyes widened at the sight of Gaara’s hand. “Gaara!”

Gaara finally managed to swallow, wincing before looking up at Lee with watery eyes. “Shit, yeah?”

Lee gestured to the injured hand and Gaara’s face flashed with an unreadable emotion before he relaxed it and shrugged, putting his hand back on his lap. “Hurt it.”

Lee furrowed his eyebrows, about to question him further when Gaara suddenly spoke.

“Yes.”

“...Yes?”

“I’ll be your boyfriend.”

The brightness of Lee’s smile was almost enough to shine away the dark clouds of guilt hanging over his head.

——-

He made his way back home, this time under the orange rays of the setting sun and felt both full and empty at the same time. He pulled out his phone, nearly dropping it in surprise as he found over five texts and two missed calls from... Sasuke?

How did Sasuke get his number and how was he a contact in his phone? A growing feeling of unease and guilt overtook him as he read through the texts, the first of which were just requesting to meet up politely, the rest either demanding or pleading. He stuffed his phone back in his pocket without responding as he checked over his shoulder just in case and sped up his pace.

Slamming the door behind him and locking it he made his way towards the stairs only to be halted by Kankuro’s voice, the owner of which leaning against the living room doorframe.

“Oi. Let’s talk.”

Gaara’s eye twitched, really not the in the mood to talk but also not in the mood to argue. He took one look at the seriousness written on Kankuro’s face and sighed, knowing his couldn’t argue with words, couldn’t fight with a broken hand, and that he didn’t want to actually hurt Kankuro. “Yeah, okay.”

Less than a minute later he was seated across from Kankuro at the kitchen table, his brother staring at him with a mixed expression. Gaara felt himself begin fidgeting and Kankuro sighed at the twitchiness of his brother, leaning forward across the table.

“A kid came by after school today. Asking for you.”

Gaara snapped his head up in shock. He couldn’t imagine anyone coming to look for him.

Unless-

“Said his name was Sasuke, made up some bullshit about wanting to give something to you.”

Fuck.

“Look, I don’t want to make... anything worse,” Kankuro began, and Gaara scowled, knowing his brother was talking about the paranoia. “But you should be careful. I know you and him used to be a thing but the guy creeped me out.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re used to being creeped out. Living with me and whatever,” Gaara said humorlessly, still processing all of what his brother had just told him.

Kankuro glared at him, mouth stretching into a thin line. “You’re not a creep, Gaara. You just have a problem.”

“We all have problems, Kankuro, but that doesn’t mean we have to take drugs for it,” the redhead spat out, feeling uncharacteristically nasty as he crossed his arms gingerly and made sure to be careful of his hurt hand. “Not that you seem to have any problems with it, but leave me out of your little addiction.”

“Yeah, well not all of us are as fucked in the head as you are!” Kankuro snarled, eyes flaring as his temper momentarily took over. “Not all of us are batshit insane!”

Gaara recoiled, eyes widening in shock and hurt and Kankuro cursed and wiped a hand across his face.

“Look, Gaara, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, I was just-”

Gaara stood quickly, chair clattering to the hardwood floor as he ran towards the stairs and up into the attic, slamming the trap door behind him and letting himself wholly fall apart.


	20. Chapter 20

Sasuke stood outside of Gaara’s house at approximately one am. and stared up at the highest window in the house.

An attic window.

He had seen a dark figure silhouetted in it twice since he had been standing there and was about to make a risky bet it was Gaara.

Swallowing thickly he picked up a pebble off the ground and threw it towards the window, cursing when it missed and rocketed off the side of the house. He grit his teeth and picked up a slightly larger pebble, praying to all things holy and grinning triumphantly as it hit the window.

He was about to pick up another rock when the window was pushed open, Gaara’s annoyed and suspicious face poking out.

He knew the moment Gaara caught sight of him, eyes widening and mouth forming the name ‘Sasuke?’ He smiled up at the bewildered boy and raised a hand in greeting.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Gaara narrowed his eyes. “Go away, Sasuke. It’s late and I don’t want to see you.”

Sasuke frowned, feeling irritation rise up and forcing it down. “Give me five minutes,” He said, sweetness dripping from his voice.

Gaara frowned and seemed to be thinking it over. He looked behind him back into the attic and sighed. “Fine. Five minutes.”

Sasuke smirked. “Meet you in the front?”

Gaara nodded and shut the window. Sasuke allowed himself to feel slightly victorious, strolling around the side of the house and waiting at the front door.

Half a minute later the short boy appeared, now wearing a too-big jacket to combat the cooling autumn air. Sasuke smiled at the cute sight and reached forward to ruffle his hair which Gaara, although grudgingly, surprisingly allowed.

Sasuke reached down to link their hands together, concern flickering across his features as he noticed Gaara’s bandaged hand. “When’d that happen?”

Gaara huffed and looked off to the side, stepping away from Sasuke. “Early this morning. Guess you didn’t notice when your friends were kicking the shit out of me.”

Sasuke frowned, eyebrows pinching as he took in the boy’s tight frame. “Look about that...”

“About what? How you fucked with me again?”

Sasuke felt something in him snap and he grabbed Gaara’s chin, pulling his face close to his. Gaara looked at him in dull surprise before scowling and Sasuke clicked his tongue.

“What I was going to say was that I wanted to help you, and I was, but Naruto surprised me and pulled me back.”

“Your _boyfriend_ managed to surprise you so bad you pulled your hand back? Yeah, sure.”

“Yeah, he did! You know why? It’s just when I get around you I forget everyone else exists!”

Gaara stilled, looking at Sasuke suspiciously. Sasuke just stared back at him, praying the boy would believe him.

Believe the truth.

And thankfully he did, because he slumped against Sasuke and loosely wrapped his arms around him. Sasuke let his chin go and held his face in his hands, leaning down for a kiss that he felt Gaara immediately melt into and all of a sudden his cold chest was warm again.

He pulled back and Gaara buried his face into his chest, Sasuke enveloping the small boy in his arms and holding him tight.

After a moment of just standing there in each other’s arms Sasuke asked if he wanted to go to the Uchiha house and was pleasantly surprised when Gaara instantly nodded yes.

——-

An hour later they were seated side by side on a large couch, two mugs of tea sitting long forgotten on the coffee table in front of them. Sasuke had an arm around Gaara’s shoulders while Gaara was snuggled into his side, knees pulled against his chest.

“You okay?” Sasuke asked, diverting his attention towards the redhead who hadn’t spoken once since the movie began.

Gaara nodded mutely, gaze fixed on the flashing screen but Sasuke could tell he wasn’t really watching it. He frowned slightly.

“What happened?”

Gaara shrugged, but Sasuke saw something flicker in his eyes. He grabbed the remote off the table and paused the movie, sighing heavily when Gaara’s expression didn’t change at all. It was as if he wasn’t even aware the film stopped.

“Gaara,” He said, fingers ghosting over the other boy’s cheek. “I know something’s up.”

No response.

“Talk to me.”

He was patient, not with many things, but had always been patient with Gaara, so when he saw the boy begin to wind down he waited. No matter how long it took.

It took around two minutes of silence.

“Me...” Gaara began, voice raspier than usual. “Me and Kankuro had a fight.”

Sasuke tensed, arm around Gaara tightening protectively. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, it wasn’t that kind of fight. He just- just called me fucked in the head and insane.” He looked up at Sasuke sharply. “I’m not crazy.”

“Of course you’re not,” Sasuke said, hand rubbing Gaara’s shoulder. “Kankuro’s out of his mind if he thinks you are.”

Gaara nodded, posture relaxing and uninjured hand coming to wrap around the loose fabric of Sasuke’s shirt. “He and Temari... want to put me on meds.”

“Oh,” Sasuke murmured thoughtfully. Fucking finally. He knew Gaara’s dad wouldn’t put him on anything, _god, he hated that fucker_ , and was relieved that Gaara would hopefully be getting the help he needed soon.

“It’s stupid,” Gaara muttered, and Sasuke looked down at him questioningly. “I don’t need them.”

“Why not?”

Gaara snapped his head up to look at Sasuke, a nearly hurt expression on his face. “What?”

“I asked why not? If they help, they help.”

Gaara shook his head. “I’m not sick though. I’m fine.”

“You call that fine?” Sasuke said, trying to keep his tone even as he nodded at Gaara’s broken hand, eyes scanning the scabbed over skin of his arms, hand, and the red, fading scratches that were nearly always present at the base of his neck.

“I’m dealing with it on my own,” Gaara hissed, moving to pull his shirt collar up.

“Okay,” Sasuke began, “But why are you so against something that would make it easier?”

“Because- Because, I don’t need it, I’m not sick or ill or-”

“What’s so wrong with being sick?”

Gaara stilled, posture tensing for a split second before slumping. “Dad doesn’t want me to be. It’ll just make him look bad, make me more disgusting and I don’t want him to hate me more-”

“Gaara I don’t give a shit about your dad and neither should you.” He unwrapped his arm from around Gaara who seemed to panic for a second from the lack of contact, before using it and his other one to cup his face.

“Your dad’s the disgusting one, not you. Think about yourself for once.”

_“You are deserving of help.”_

Gaara stared up at him, eyes full of confusion. They sat there for a good moment, just looking into each other’s eyes, Sasuke with determination and Gaara with almost wonder. Sasuke let the silence stretch, and finally Gaara nodded.

“...Okay.”

Sasuke gave a small smile and felt like for the first time Gaara might be beginning to heal.

And for that, he allowed himself a complete victory.


	21. Chapter 21

Ino cocked her head and regarded Gaara carefully. He was staring off into space which in of itself wasn’t unusual at all. However, he wasn’t picking at his skin or even fidgeting that much, causing a small smile to cross her face.

“So, Gaara,” She began, tapping her fingers on the table to get his attention. “Lee told me some very interesting information.”

Gaara fixed her with a blank gaze. “And what would that be?”

“Uh, only that you two are officially dating now.”

She was surprised when Gaara hardly reacted, just nodded mutely and pulled out his phone as he began to type something.

“Aren’t you like excited at all?”

“Very. Can’t you tell?” He said almost dryly, not even bothering to look up from his phone.

Ino frowned, leaning forward on her elbows across the library table and scrutinizing the boy in front of her with narrowed eyes. He continued typing and she sighed, realizing she wouldn’t get anymore information out of him on the subject. Her eyes flickered up to the kanji on his forehead.

“Hey, so I’ve been meaning to ask, when’d you get that tattoo?”

He paused and slid his eyes over to her, expression guarded. “A year ago. Junior year.

Her eyes widened and she made an awed noise. “Waaah, when you were sixteen? Don’t you have to be like eighteen to get one though?”

Gaara shrugged. “Kankuro has connections.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Of course he does.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Gaara looked at her warily but didn’t question her further, returning his attention to his phone.

“Why’d you choose ‘love’?” She asked, and immediately the boy’s shoulders tensed. “Sorry, I just know tattoos usually have a special meaning or whatever-”

“It does have a special meaning.”

“...Go on?”

He looked up at her, placing his phone down on the table. His face was closed off. “All my life I was told I was incapable of love, but I eventually met someone and I realized that was wrong. I lost contact with him and lost someone to love but I didn’t want to forget it. I got this tattoo as a reminder.”

Ino was silent for a moment, just taking it all in and the fact that that was the most he’d ever spoken to her in one go. “That someone... it was Sasuke wasn’t it?” she asked quietly.

He nodded, something serene about his expression and that’s when it all clicked.

“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”

He nodded again and Ino closed her eyes and rubbed at her temple, the information being too much to handle. “But why? He beat you up and was so shitty to you!”

Gaara winced at the loudness of her tone before frowning at her. “He didn’t beat me up, his friends did. He tried to stop them and apologized to me afterwards.”

“Okay, that doesn’t change the fact that he- wait, when was the last time you were around him long enough for him to apologize?”

There was no answer and at the faint blush creeping up his neck and the way his uninjured fingers began clawing their way into the wood grain she gasped.

“Fuck, Gaara, don’t tell me you-”  
  
“So what if I did?” he said, voice low and head bowed.

Ino took in a deep breath, about to lecture the boy when she remembered what Kankuro had told her and Lee, about how unstable Gaara was. She didn’t want to add on to that or make anything worse, make Gaara think worse of himself than he already did.

And so with a forced smile and a guilty conscious she shook her head. “Nothing. I was just surprised.”

When Gaara lifted his head and the corners of his mouth lifted into the ghost of a smile she realized that the boy might not even realize that what he was doing was wrong. She had already assumed that she was Gaara’s first friend, and after Kankuro had expressed disbelief anyone wanted to be around his little brother she gathered that he had never really had a chance to socialize with people before now. He might have no idea what he was doing was against social norms.

She bit her tongue and inclined her head slightly. “So, uh... did you finish the pre-calc homework?”

——-

She waited until she saw Sasuke walking alone to the cafeteria to grab the back of his backpack, pulling him into an empty classroom and slamming the door behind them.

“Ino- what the hell?” he gasped, ripping out of her hold and taking a step back. “What’re you-”

“Tell me about you and Gaara.”

Sasuke looked at her suspiciously, subconsciously tugging at the fabric of his sleeves. “You already know. We were friends when we were kids.”

She clicked her tongue and crossed her arms, standing in front of the doorway to block his potential escape attempt. “No, I mean recently.”

“Is this about Kiba and everyone fucking with him? ‘Cause I already tried to stop them-”

“Uh no, I’m talking about fucking with him in a different way.”

His face screwed up in confusion before his eyes widened. “How did you-”

“I asked him if he was still in love with you and he said yes, then I figured out what you two have been doing.”

She expected him to deny it, maybe to even look somewhat slightly ashamed and try to leave. What she didn’t expect was for his face to contort into a satisfied smirk and for his posture to straighten. “He said he still loves me?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Ino gawked, staring at Sasuke as if he had grown a second head. “‘What’s the problem?’ The problem is that _both of you already have boyfriends_.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “You think that matters to me?”

“Excuse me? Don’t you see that what you’re doing is fucked up? I don’t think Gaara even knows this is wrong.”

“He’s not _that_ innocent. And even if he was he doesn’t need to know,” Sasuke said nonchalantly. “Besides, even if he is dating Lee he won’t be for long.”

“Wait, what? You wouldn’t-”

“You’re right. I won’t. It’s just that Gaara doesn’t need him and he’ll realize that soon enough.”

Ino grit her teeth, taking a step closer to Sasuke and was pissed when he held his ground, just looking down at her with that infuriating smirk. She didn’t see how she could have ever been attracted to him. “Lee’s a thousand times better for him than you’ll ever be.”

Sasuke merely smiled wider and somehow that made her even angrier.

“If you don’t tell Gaara that this is fucked I will,” she snarled.

“Will you?”

Ino froze, face blanching.

“He’s already so fragile you know,” Sasuke continued, voice dripping in venom. “You really want to break him more? You know that’ll only make him think he’s more of a shit person than he already does.” He placed a hand on Ino’s shoulder in false comfort and she recoiled. “Real noble of you, Ino.”

She hated the mocking tone in his voice, hated how he spoke to her like she was a child, and hated that he was right.

“Sasuke,” she said, tone icy. “He’ll find out eventually.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“He- he’s not stupid! Someone else will find out and tell Lee or Naruto, and oh god, what about Naruto?”

“He’ll survive,” were his last words on the subject, stepping around the shell shocked girl and leaving, closing the door behind him and leaving Ino in the empty classroom with thoughts racing a thousand miles per hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that both Ino and Sasuke have very skewed perspectives of Gaara. Who knows if he’s aware that what he’s doing is wrong?


	22. Chapter 22

In the past two weeks Sasuke had taken to ignoring him at school but showing up at his window nearly every night, taking him back to his house and sneaking past Itachi to spend time together.

It was aggravating to say the least. It was aggravating for Sasuke to act like he didn’t exist during the daytime but then turn around and be nothing but sweet at night. It was also aggravating to see him and Naruto together and the foreign feeling of jealously began tugging at his heart.

Ino had been acting differently lately as well, not necessarily distancing herself from him but definitely acting like she was treading on thin ice, speaking carefully and acting like Gaara was made of glass or something. He despised it.

The only solace he got aside from Sasuke’s late night visits was the time he was able to spend with Lee, which was comforting and nice. Lee was nearly opposite from Sasuke in terms of affection, not very touchy but just as sweet. They had only recently taken to holding hands and Gaara found himself liking the way Lee’s rough, calloused palms pressed up against his softer and smaller ones.

Though irritating, by the third week he had grown accustomed to Sasuke ignoring him and that’s why he nearly lost his shit when Sasuke grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into an empty classroom during break.

“Sasuke- what, I-” he gasped out, clutching at his fiercely beating heart and struggling to regain his breath. “What are you-”

“Shh,” Sasuke hushed him softly, placing both hands on his shoulders soothingly and making a show of breathing deeply which Gaara immediately copied. “Did I scare you?”

Once Gaara had regained his breath he let out a shuddering exhale, glaring weakly up at Sasuke. “Yeah. Funnily enough I’m not fond of random hands suddenly grabbing me.”

He saw remorse flicker in Sasuke’s eyes and sighed, any ill feelings melting away. “It’s fine though, you just surprised me.”

“Shouldn’t you know how my hands feel by now?” Sasuke asked cheekily and Gaara rolled his eyes.

“I’m just not used to them in the daytime.”

Sasuke frowned. “Look, about that... I’m just trying to protect you, figure some stuff out.”

Gaara snorted. “Protect me?”

Sasuke’s hands gripped tighter onto Gaara’s shoulders and he nodded seriously. “Just for a little longer, I promise.” He paused. “I’ll always protect you, though,” he said, almost as an afterthought.

“I know.” Gaara said simply, and he felt his heart speed up again for a very different reason at the beautiful smile spreading across Sasuke’s face.

Sasuke leaned down and pressed a kiss on top of Gaara’s tattoo, stroking the side of his cheek gently. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

Gaara didn’t reply, because he didn’t know that. He didn’t know why Sasuke thought that either, and it was still foreign to him that anyone could see anything good in him, much less call him perfect.

Sasuke frowned, bringing his lips down to the smaller boy’s mouth and whispering against them. “You are.”

Gaara rolled his eyes before they fluttered closed as he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s neck, the other happily returning it.

Eventually Sasuke pulled away, moving down to Gaara’s neck and mouthing at it.

Gaara let out a harsh breath of air, craning his head back slightly as Sasuke bit down on his collar bone and sucked, pulling off and licking softly at the wound to soothe it before giving various parts of his neck the same treatment.

Gaara felt his knees knock against each other and he clung onto Sasuke tighter as a hiss left his mouth. “Sasuke, I-”

He was silenced as Sasuke bit down on his pulse point, a high keen coming from him as his legs finally gave out and Sasuke caught him. Chuckling softly the taller boy brushed the hair out of Gaara’s eyes and took in his blissed out expression. “Never knew you’d be this sensitive. You’re acting like I just fucked you or something.”

Gaara didn’t respond but he knew if his face could get any redder it would have.

After a few minutes of them just standing there in each other’s arms the bell rang and Sasuke cursed.

“Guess it’s time to go, huh?” He said, planting a soft kiss on the top of Gaara’s head who merely nodded and unwrapped his arms from around the other.

Sasuke said nothing as he grabbed his book bag off of the desk he had laid it on, heading towards the door but pausing to look back at the other boy and smile gently before leaving for real.

As Gaara stood in the middle of the empty classroom he thought about how immensely grateful he was to have worn a high collared shirt today.

———

When Lee asked him why he had been wearing his turtleneck exclusively the last few days he merely shrugged and told him that the weather was getting cooler and he wanted to stay warm.

He didn’t miss Ino’s clouded gaze directed at him or the familiar feeling of guilt wrapping around his insides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not good at nor do i like writing intimate scenes.


	23. Chapter 23

  
“Gaara, come down to the kitchen please,” he heard Temari call up from downstairs and he squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He had just been about to text Sasuke. Grumbling to himself he lifted himself up off his bed and made his way downstairs, standing stiffly in the doorway when he saw his brother and his sister both sitting at the kitchen table and looking up at him. There was a stretch of silence as he made no move to sit down and Kankuro sighed tiredly.

“Just sit down already.”

Gaara, deliberately slowly, walked over to the table and sat down, hands placed on his knees.

Temari smiled kindly at him. “How’s your hand?”

He shrugged. “Healing.”

“That’s good.”

There was another stretch of silence before Kankuro chose to speak up. “Look, remember a couple of years back when we got dad to let you go to therapy for a while?”

_And when he found out you were sicker than he wanted stopped it?_

Gaara nodded and was sure he knew where this was going already.

Temari looked at him carefully. “And remember all those tests you had to take? The written ones and the ink blots?”

He frowned. “Yes.” He had hated those with a burning passion, finding them pointless and irritating.

“Do you remember what those tests said?”

“That I had schizophrenia.”

“No,” She sighed, resting her cheek in her hand. “You have schizoaffective disorder.”

“Same thing,” he muttered, beginning to play with his bandages and belatedly remembering he was supposed to change them the day before.

He heard Kankuro make a small noise of agreement and Temari slapped him on the shoulder harshly. “It is not!” she hissed as Kankuro grabbed his shoulder.

“You’re damn strong when you want to be, you know that?”

“Yeah, actually I do.”

“Is there a point to this conversation?” Gaara asked, breaking them out of their banter. Temari looked away from Kankuro and towards her younger brother, nodding.

“Yes. Gaara, listen. We know you don’t want to, but we really think it’d be a good idea if you started taking something.”

Kankuro didn’t say anything, just slid a pill bottle over to Gaara who looked down at it blankly.

“That’s latuda,” his older brother said evenly. “It helps with mood swings and your other... problems.”

He said nothing and felt the air in the room grow uncomfortable.

**_‘You’re seriously considering it? You don’t need it, you know you don’t. You can’t survive without me.’_ **

“Look, can you just try it?”

**_‘Taking it means admitting you’re crazy and other people will think you are too.’_ **

He was about to agree with Shukaku, about to throw the bottle on the ground and stand up, about leave and barricade himself in his room.

But then he remembered the several conversations he had had with Sasuke on the subject the past few weeks and paused.

_“What’s so wrong with being sick?”_

_“You are deserving of help.”_

And Sasuke seemed to always know best.

“Okay.”

Temari and Kankuro both looked at him in surprise. “What?”

He sighed and picked up the pill bottle, regarding it closely. “I said okay. I’ll try it.”

He was wholly unprepared for the hug his sister attacked him with and even more unprepared for Kankuro to wrap his arms around him soon afterwards as well.

“Thank you, Gaara,” he heard his sister whisper, and he allowed his arms to snake around both her and his older brother.

“You’re welcome.”

She drew back, wiping at her tears and Kankuro followed albeit with much drier eyes.

“So, anyways- wait, Gaara, is that a hickey?”

Gaara felt his body tense at his older brother’s words and at Temari’s gasp.

“Oh my god it is.”

Gaara moved to pull his turtle neck back up only to have his hand intercepted as Kankuro pulled his collar down further.

“Goddamn, there’s at least like eight of them!”

Gaara wrenched his hand away, pulling his collar up successfully but it was too late. He groaned as Temari looked scandalized and as Kankuro began laughing, slapping his back appreciatively.

“Who would’ve known our dear little brother had so much game?”

Temari’s hands were covering her mouth, the look in her eyes torn between concerned and amused. “Gaara...”

“Who did it?”

Gaara looked up at Kankuro, who had asked the question, and felt the now familiar and unwanted feeling of guilt creep up once again. “My boyfriend.”

Temari’s hands fell from her mouth and she smiled brightly. “Oh Gaara, you got a new boyfriend?”

He nodded, because she wasn’t wrong. Something was still gnawing at his chest.

“Kid named Lee,” Kankuro supplied, and Gaara looked up at him questioningly.

“How do you know him?”

“Met him and this blonde chick outside your school a while ago.” He looked up at the ceiling, thinking. “She’s damn fine too.”

Temari squawked at his last sentence, clearly about to tell him off before stopping. “Wait, why were you at his school?”

Kankuro stilled and tugged at his ear sheepishly. “Business.”

“You were selling drugs at a _high school?!_ ”

Gaara watched as his sister began hitting his brother, a warm and fond feeling growing in his chest, and at that moment he realized he cared for his siblings.

It was a more than welcome realization.

Suddenly Kankuro stilled and whispered something in his sister’s ear, her eyes widening before nodding solemnly. They turned towards Gaara who felt the fond feeling fade away and be replaced with unease.

“Anyways,” Temari said tentatively. She seemed to struggle with the next sentence, turning to Kankuro for help.

“Anyways,” He picked up, sighing and crossing his arms. “Dad’s coming to visit next week.”

Gaara swallowed thickly, nodding his head. “For how long?”

His brother bit his lip. “A week.”

“Oh.”

There was a silence and Gaara felt a sort of panic take over him. Usually their dad only came by to stay for a night or two and Gaara was able to lock himself in the attic, more than able to survive up there without sustenance for 48 hours.

He was used to it.

But there was no way he could do it for a whole week, he’d starve to death or die of dehydration. He found his fingers creeping up to upper arm, digging into his skin through the fabric of his sweater.

“So we think you should probably find a place to stay while he’s here.”

Gaara looked up at Temari in shock who pursed her lips sadly.

“I would let you stay at my apartment but there’s not enough room and there’s no way my roommates would go for a guy staying with us,” she continued. “So if you can, find a friend to stay with. Okay?”

He nodded, pulling his hand away from arm and using it to grip his other wrist.

——-

He lay in bed that night staring at the dim light of his phone screen, contemplating.

It was a choice between Sasuke and Lee, his only other real friend being Ino who was a girl and thus probably wouldn’t be able to house him anyways.

Lee was great. He was sweet and respected Gaara’s boundaries, trying his best to make him happy and to understand him even when he couldn’t.

Sasuke was also great. He was passionate and made Gaara feel things he didn’t know were possible, and since they had finally met up the feelings he felt for him had only increased in intensity. He had known Gaara the longest and just understood him.

Sasuke had said he was the only one who could understand and care for Gaara, after all.

Who was he to disagree?  
  
The longer he thought on it the easier it was to decide and he groaned, making a split second decision to press his thumb down and select the contact.

“Sasuke? I have a favor to ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have given my own hatred of projective testing to Gaara in here lol.


	24. Chapter 24

“You want a friend to stay over?” He heard Itachi asked from across the kitchen and he sighed.

“Yes,” Sasuke grit out, glaring at Itachi who was standing by the stove, apron hanging over his midsection. “For a week, actually.”

Itachi hummed and flipped over a pancake with a spatula. “When?”

“Starting tonight.”

Sasuke saw Itachi frown and close his eyes as if thinking about something deeply.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Sasuke folded his arms across the large marble countertop he sat at and hunched over. “Because it’s my house too. You don’t make all the rules.”

“Yet I’m also your legal guardian, so I do.”

Sasuke opened his mouth, irritation flaring up only to be quelled as Itachi slid a plate of pancakes laden with syrup towards him. “...Thanks,” he muttered, cutting into the breakfast and shoving a bite into his mouth.

“Chew with your mouth closed,” Itachi said fondly, hand reaching out to poke at his younger brother’s forehead. Sasuke narrowed his eyes but shut his mouth, swallowing down the bite thickly.

“Of course your friend can stay here,” Itachi began, smiling as Sasuke’s face lit up. “But be sure not to bite off more than you can chew.”

Sasuke frowned at him before diverting his gaze to the large amount of pancake stabbed on his fork. “What do you-?”

Itachi cut him off with a wave, grabbing his briefcase and walking towards the door. “I’ll be home late tonight. Don’t stay up too late, it’s still a school night no matter who you have over.”

And with that he was gone and Sasuke was alone with far too many pancakes.

——-

“Sasuke?” he heard Naruto say and felt a tug on the sleeve of his jacket. He looked down at his boyfriend in annoyance, jerking his sleeve out of his grasp.

“What?”

Naruto looked up at him, hand falling back to his side and expression faltering. “I just wanted to know if you wanted to do something tonight.”

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and exhaled through his nose. How the fuck was he supposed to explain this? “I’m busy.”

Naruto narrowed his eyes, arms crossing in front of his chest. “Busy? You’ve been busy pretty much every night the last two weeks! What’s going on?”

The Uchiha placed his head in his hand, leaning over his desk and groaning. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend free period.

“Look, I’m just busy, okay? I can’t spend every second of my time with you.”

“You don’t spend anytime with me! Ever since-” The blond stopped, something like realization crossing his features. “Ever since Gaara showed up! Ino was right, wasn’t she?”

“Ino doesn’t know shit,” Sasuke said as he rested his head on both hands now. “Gaara has nothing to do with any of this, so shut up already.”

Naruto grabbed his arm again, teeth gritting and eyes shining with something he couldn’t make out. “Then how come- you change when people talk about him, you’ve changed since he showed up. Sasuke, I’m just worried about-”

“Naruto, do you want to go to the dance with me?”

Naruto stopped and let go of his arm, expression relaxing. “You mean the fall ball?”

Sasuke snorted derisively at the name but nodded. “Yeah. Want to go?”

The blond smiled and Sasuke felt affection rise up in him along with satisfaction.

“Of course I do!”

——

After the last bell rang Sasuke waited near the back of the school for Gaara, sending him a quick text about his whereabouts. He quickly gazed around the backlot for anyone important before relaxing. No one he or Gaara knew was around.

He heard someone shout his name and spun around to see Gaara walking towards him, hands stuffed in his pockets and posture relaxed.

“Yo,” the small boy said, looking at the ground. Sasuke smiled gently before lifting Gaara’s chin up and letting their gazes meet.

“You ready?”

Gaara nodded and rubbed his cheek against Sasuke’s palm. Sasuke’s heart stuttered at the cat-like action.

“You gonna purr next?” Sasuke asked, soft smile turning into a grin. Gaara didn’t meet his eyes but glared weakly at him before leaning away from the touch and shrugging.

“Maybe if you get me going enough.”

His eyes widened and at a loss for words watched as Gaara turned and began walking in the direction of the Uchiha house. He shook his head to clear it and jogged until he was next to the boy, bumping his shoulder against his.

Neither of them noticed the opening of the back door to the school or Lee’s heavy gaze on their backs.

——-

“Why are there so many goddamn pancakes?” Sasuke stifled a laugh and looked over at Gaara who had dropped his book bag in awe at the sight.

“Itachi knew I had company so he made some,” he explained, gesturing at the mass of food littered around the table.

“Some company? Sasuke, this is enough for a small army,” Gaara blinked and rubbed at his eyes as if he was imagining it all, and Sasuke couldn’t control the chuckle that left his mouth this time.

“Yeah, I don’t know. Itachi’s fucking weird.”

“...That’s like thirty of them at least...”

Sasuke continued laughing at the bewildered expression on Gaara’s face, grabbing the other’s wrist and leading him up the stairs towards his bedroom. He sat on the bed and looked up at Gaara, patting the mattress next to him. “You coming?”

Gaara hesitated, looking around the room and clutching his bag tighter. “Where am I sleeping?”

Sasuke frowned and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Same place you’ve been sleeping the last few weeks?”

He saw Gaara bite his lip and nod, settling his bag on the floor and walking over to Sasuke. He sat next to him, shoulders hunched.

“Sorry.”

“What? Why?” Sasuke asked, looking at Gaara’s meek frame.

The other just shrugged.

“What’s wrong?” Sasuke asked, wrapping an arm around the stiff boy’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing. I just wasn’t sure since it’s for a whole week.”

“Gaara, you’re welcome in my bed anytime.”

Said boy rolled his eyes and leaned closer towards Sasuke, sighing as Sasuke felt some of the tension leave his small body. “Thanks.”

——-

He felt soft hands run down his exposed chest and linger at his sides gingerly. “Sasuke.”

He hummed in response and rubbed Gaara’s shoulder blades, skin smooth and cold to the touch. “What’s up?”

“I like you.”

Sasuke stilled before laughing. “Really? That’s news to me,” He breathed against Gaara’s ear before biting down on the lobe.

Gaara took a shaky breath as his partner began sucking on the sensitive flesh. “No- I... I mean really like-” He let out a high keen as Sasuke bit down again, back arching slightly as Sasuke’s hands roamed all over his body.

Sasuke smiled, eyes sliding up to the trembling boy above him. It always amazed him how sensitive Gaara was, though he guessed it was because he’d hardly had any physical contact his whole life.

It was great though, and he wasn’t complaining.

“You mean like love?” Sasuke murmured, bringing his mouth away from Gaara’s ear so he could look him in the face.

The redhead nodded, face flushed and eyes diverted but determined. “Yeah...”

Sasuke smiled wider than he had in years, index fingers pressing into the dips of Gaara’s slender hips that were exposed by his loose boxers and nodding.

“I know. And I love you.”

He relished in the way Gaara’s face lit up not from a blush but instead pure happiness.

“More than anyone else does,” Sasuke continued.

He pressed a kiss to Gaara’s forehead before moving his head down to mouth at the boy’s jaw.

“No bites there.”

“I know.”

——-

It annoyed Sasuke that he could only mark Gaara in places no one else could see, but with the redhead pressed snuggly against his side he couldn’t find the energy to care.

It was a slightly uncomfortable position, his arm trapped between the other’s back and the mattress, but the way their legs and feet were intertwined and how Gaara’s head was laid on his chest more than made up for it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No they didn’t fuck.


	25. Chapter 25

Ino sometimes wondered what she did to deserve all of this.

Surely she must have pissed off some god to have her stuck at a table with Neji and Tenten who were currently sucking each other’s faces off.

“You guys?” She asked, tapping her pen against her notebook.

No response.

“Guys?”

Nothing.

She slammed her textbook closed and finally they looked at her. She narrowed her eyes and huffed, packing up her stuff and standing up. “I can see when I’m not wanted.”

“Oh come on, Ino, it’s not like that.”

“I don’t want to hear it!” she said snarkily, turning and leaving. She didn’t hear either of them protest and she bristled.

It was so annoying to have all of her friends be in relationships and have her still be single. She was a great person and not to mention hot as fuck so it just didn’t add up.

She lost her train of thought when she heard her name being called, whirling around to see Lee waving her over.

“What’s up?” She asked when she reached him, leaning against a row of lockers. “And where’s Gaara?”

She regretted saying his name as soon as Lee reacted, something like anxiety taking over his features.

“About that... yesterday I saw him and Sasuke leaving school together.”

Fuck.

She tugged on a strand of hair subconsciously and chewed the inside of her cheek. “You think he was like trying to hurt him?”

“No! That would have made sense, it’s just...”

“Just what?”

The boy seemed to struggle with something, mouth opening and closing. “When we were on the roof together a few weeks ago... Gaara had a panic attack and Sasuke helped him.”

It took all her willpower to keep her face one of surprise. “Really?”

“Yes! Gaara seemed so comfortable with him... and lately he hadn’t been replying to my messages and calls at night.”

She pushed down her feelings and exhaled softly. “Lee, we already know that they used to date. He’s probably just comfortable with him because of that.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder and mustered up a smile. “Gaara really likes you, okay? It’s fine.”

He seemed to relax at that and nodded, grinning. “You’re right. It was wrong of me to assume he’d do something like that.”

She felt her smile slip slightly but righted it before he could notice.

“Now, lunch is almost over and I need to get to chem. Go cool off, alright?”

He nodded again and thanked her before running off to his next class.

She wondered how long she could keep this up.

——-

When she caught sight of Gaara and Sasuke in the back lot after school with hands interlaced, she snapped.

“Gaara!” She yelled, rushing towards him. The boy in question’s head snapped towards her, eyes widening and hand dropping from Sasuke’s.

“Ino?”

She glared at Sasuke then at Gaara who seemed to recoil from the harsh gaze. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Sasuke growled and stepped in front of Gaara protectively, glare just as fierce as her’s. “What the fuck do you think _you’re_ doing?”

Ino grit her teeth and took another step forward as she seethed. “I’m protecting both of my friends, one from you and one from heartbreak.” She moved forward, hands clenched into fists as Sasuke irritatingly held his ground. “Fucking tell him already!”

She caught sight of Gaara peeking around Sasuke but couldn’t read his expression.

“I already told you no.”

“I don’t care if you ‘said no’, this can’t keep happening-”

“Ino, just stop.”

She and Sasuke both seemed surprised to hear Gaara’s steady voice and she was even more surprised when he continued.

“Don’t talk to Sasuke like that.”

She stared at him, fire leaving her body as she realized it was a lost cause.

Sasuke smirked down at her, and as much as she wanted to wipe it right off she knew Gaara would never forgive her for it.

And as much as she was pissed at Gaara, she also didn’t want to lose his friendship.

Her eyes flickered between the two, between Sasuke’s self-satisfied sneer and Gaara’s clouded eyes and wondered where it all spiraled out of control.

Gaara’s posture worried her, how even smaller than normal he looked and how heavily he leaned into Sasuke’s side.

Gaara said nothing to her and she said nothing to him as Sasuke wrapped an arm around his shoulders and led him away.

Seriously, what she do to deserve this?


	26. Chapter 26

Gaara was tired.

So fucking tired.

He watched blankly as Itachi and Sasuke bickered about something (that’s all they seemed to do) and poked at one of the leftover pancakes with a fork.

Despite what Sasuke had said, Itachi seemed pretty okay. He didn’t ask why Gaara was there and welcomed him like he was one of his own family.

But Sasuke always knew best anyways.  
He almost wished he was an Uchiha but the thought was quickly nixed as he remembered his and Sasuke’s relationship.

The tips of his ears flushed as he thought of last night and of the new bruises littered across his body.

Ordinarily he hated bruises, but he didn’t mind these.

He didn’t notice the quiet in the kitchen until he looked up and saw Sasuke and Itachi looking at him.

“Hm?”

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, glancing at Itachi who spoke for him.

“I’ll be out tonight.”

Gaara nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

“Remember to be safe.”

Suddenly he was choking on water and Sasuke was beside him, hitting him on the back as he spluttered.

Itachi watched them with amused eyes before walking towards the door and opening it, pausing.

“Condoms are in the drawer by my bed.”

He was choking again and Sasuke was yelling at Itachi.

——-

Despite Sasuke’s protests they did end up using one.

Gaara lay on the bed, naked, panting, and throughly fucked out as Sasuke threw the stained rubber into his trash can.

His chest was still heaving when Sasuke sat back down next to him, pulling his limp body into his lap and relaxing against the headboard. He combed his fingers through Gaara’s hair loosely.

“We really should get you cleaned up,” Sasuke murmured after a moment. Gaara shook his head weakly and Sasuke sighed in return. “You’re a mess. We both are.”

He couldn’t really deny it, couldn’t deny he felt sticky and gross and could really use a shower.

He let Sasuke help him stand up, thighs twitching and the dull ache in his stomach and hips becoming more and more pronounced with each step to the bathroom they took.

Sasuke set him on the toilet seat, turning around and fiddling with the taps to begin filling the tub.

It was silent for a while aside from the sound of running water and their breathing.

Gaara watched with muted fascination as steam filled the large bathroom and fogged up the mirror.

“Are you trying to boil me alive?”

Sasuke turned around at the sound of Gaara’s voice and smirked. “Nope. Just trying to make you feel even better.”

He snorted as Sasuke moved towards him, gingerly pulling him to his feet to stand by the bathtub.

Sasuke lowered himself into the water first before he helped Gaara in, settling the boy in between his legs and placing his own hands on the sides of the marble bathtub.

“You’re so fucking rich,” Gaara mumbled as Sasuke gently cleaned them both.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. This bathroom is almost as big as my house’s whole first floor.”

“Doubtful.”

Gaara shrugged and leaned his head against Sasuke’s chest. “Feels like it.”

He didn’t hear Sasuke’s reply as his eyes shut, sleep overtaking him.

——-

He woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing, wrapped loosely in Sasuke’s arms.

He checked the clock and groaned.

Who the fuck was calling him at one in the morning?

He slipped out of Sasuke’s hold and grabbed his phone, stepping out of the room as he answered.

“Hello?”

_-“Gaara? I am sorry, I tried calling earlier and you didn’t-”_

He sighed. “I’m fine, Lee.”

_-“Oh good! Anyways, like I’ve said I’ve been trying to call you because I have something to ask.”_

“What’s that?”

_-“That’s- Will you go to the fall ball with me?”_

He paused, looking at Sasuke’s sleeping form and thinking.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go.”

Lee’s excited response was thrilling, but as he listened to the happy boy and looked at the sleeping Sasuke he felt the usual guilt rise up in him.

He bid Lee goodnight soon after, returning back to Sasuke and laying close to him, careful not to wake the other boy up.

He pretended to be asleep when Sasuke woke up, pretended to snap awake as a hand carded through his hair, and pretended to be annoyed with the kiss he got.

Something inside of him was telling him he shouldn’t enjoy it, but he was never good at listening anyways.

——-

“You’re going to the dance with Lee?”

Gaara nodded as he slowly chewed his breakfast. “Yeah. I assume you’re going with Naruto?”

Sasuke seemed to struggle with something before stabbing at a bite of his omelette with a bit too much force. “Yep.”

He regarded the other carefully and allowed a small smile to cross his face. Sasuke had been noticeably less possessive the past few weeks, not flying off the handle or sulking whenever Gaara mentioned Lee.

It was a nice change.

“Something wrong?” he teased, smile becoming a smirk as Sasuke hunched over.

“Nothing. Eat your fucking food.”

——-

He found himself in an uncomfortable and unwanted situation between periods that day, cornered between a row of lockers and Ino’s glare.

“What?” he asked, newly un-bandaged hand gripping at his other wrist. “What is it?”

He watched as her brow furrowed and as she straightened up, sure that if it wasn’t for the dosage of medicine he was on Shukaku would be laughing in his ears right about now.

“Look, I’ve been nice this whole time-”

“Nice?”

“Shush. I’ve been doing what I thought was right this whole time but I can’t do it anymore.”

He dug his fingernails into his flesh. “You don’t need to do anything.”

“What I need to do is finally tell you that whatever you’re doing with Sasuke is wrong.”

He paused as his nails created perfect indents on his skin and watched as Ino’s shoulders relaxed.

“Listen, you can’t keep fucking around with both Sasuke and Lee.”

“Why not?”

Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s wrong and-”

“You’re not my fucking mom, Ino.”

“Well maybe I need to be since yours obviously isn’t doing her job!”

His hand contracted as his nails sliced cleanly into his arm, heart suddenly feeling like it was about to beat through his chest and shoulders shaking.

He didn’t notice her eyes widen before softening. “Gaara? Are you-”

“Don’t talk to me.”

The words cut through the air, palpable enough for her to take a step back.

“Don’t.”

He pushed past her maybe a little too roughly with his head down, teeth grit.

“Gaara!”

He didn’t turn around.

——-

He lay huddled under the covers in Sasuke’s room as he waited for school to end.

He hadn’t cut class in a long time up until now.

He felt a great weight be lifted off his chest as he heard the door to the room open and the blankets be pulled off his frame.

“What’re you doing down there?”

He didn’t reply, just grabbed Sasuke’s wrist and tugged at it insistently until the taller boy sat down with a huff of laughter.

“Thanks for having the sense to text me at least. That was good of you.”

Gaara said nothing again in favor of resting his head on one of Sasuke’s thighs. They sat quietly for a moment, Sasuke’s hand on his waist and moving back and forth calmly.

“Sasuke?”

“Mm?”

“What we’re doing is wrong, isn’t it?”

The hand on his side stilled and he felt Sasuke’s body tense. “Who said that?”

“Ino.”

“Fucking of course.”

There was another beat of silence before Sasuke spoke up again.

“Maybe.”

“Oh.”

He wasn’t surprised in the least.

He felt himself being maneuvered into a sitting position and soon he was eye to eye with Sasuke.

“Do you want to stop?”

He didn’t even have to think about it.

“Never.”


	27. Chapter 27

Ino was acting odd.

Well, odder than usual.

Lee sat across from the blonde with his normally comically wide eyes squinted, watching as she chewed insistently on her lower lip, eyes casted downwards at a blank sheet of notebook paper.

One that had stayed unmarked for the whole twenty minutes they’d been in the library.

“Ino?”

She jumped in her chair and put a hand over her chest as she glared at Lee. “What?”

“Are...” he paused, trying to think of the best way to frame the question. “Are you alright?”

His confusion only grew as she seemed to relax, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“That’s good.”

An awkward silence grew between the two and Lee wondered if he was the only one who felt it. Ino just seemed grateful he hadn’t inquired more into the matter.

He looked around the library as he thought of a way to breach the imposing quiet.

“Oh!”

She looked away from scrutinizing her still chipped nails to regard him curiously. “Yes?”

He took a deep breath before smiling widely. “Me and Gaara are going to the fall ball together!”

His eyes widened as she nearly fell out of her chair, face paling in response and mouth tightening.

“Ino?”

“That’s great,” she said, and Lee’s confusion only grew with how forced it sounded. “Really great.”

“Wh-what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she gave him a strained smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “But hey, I’ve really gotta go now.”

She stood up abruptly, sliding her schoolwork into her bag and shoving in her chair so harshly it slammed against the table and caused several people in the immediate vicinity to look over.

She left him there with an open mouth and a confusing sense of dread hanging over his head.

——-

“Gaara!”

His boyfriend looked over his shoulder, face impassive as he caught sight of Lee rushing towards him through the crowded hallway.

It didn’t really bother him though. He could see the fondness in Gaara’s eyes betraying his usual bored expression and causing Lee’s own heart to speed up.

He slid his hand easily into his boyfriends, the clammy and cool palm now a welcome sensation. “How was your day? I didn’t see you at lunch.”

Gaara just shrugged. “I was busy.”

Lee nodded as they walked out of the school, squeezing the smaller boy’s palm in reassurance. “I understand.”

He was about to speak when the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood up. He looked over his shoulder and caught eyes with...

Sasuke?

Sasuke’s intense and cold gaze was directed on him and Lee wondered if the other boy was even blinking.

An unpleasant sense of unease built up in him as he continued his staring contest with the Uchiha, relying on Gaara as his guide as the small boy continued pulling them through the crowd of students.

Eventually he lowered his eyes from Sasuke’s intimidating gaze and turned his head back around.

He swallowed down air, eyes resolutely fixated on the trees in front of him as he addressed Gaara.

“Sasuke was looking at us.”

“Was he?”

He frowned at the other’s uncaring tone and tightened his grip on his hand.

“Yes. Do you know why?”

If he didn’t know any better he would have easily assumed Gaara’s nonchalant shrug was nothing but genuine. If he didn’t know any better he wouldn’t have noticed Gaara’s free hand scratching incessantly at his jeans as if trying to rip through the fabric.

A horrible thought came to him as he took in the limp Gaara had been walking with for the past few days.

“Have they been bullying you again?”

He assumed the bullying had stopped, Gaara hadn’t had any black eyes or other injuries lately and he hadn’t seen any of Sasuke’s group lurking around him lately. But now because of the limp...

He just hoped he wasn’t right.

Relief washed over him as Gaara let out a small chuckle and shook his head. “No, they haven’t.”

He smiled brightly and continued walking, head noticeably higher this time. “Good! I was just worried about your limp.”

His heart contracted painfully for a reason he didn’t know the origin of when Gaara tensed, fingers digging into his pants.

“Not related.”

His smile wavered only to be replaced by a confused frown as he took in Gaara’s bowed head and now fraying jeans.

The rest of the walk was quiet aside from the thoughts racing around his head.


	28. Chapter 28

Sasuke already found himself scowling a lot, but in the past few months it had really escalated.

That’s how he found himself splayed across the couch, glaring at the reality show currently playing on tv and moodily stuffing bite sized pretzels in his mouth.

Gaara wasn’t home yet, was out on a date with Lee instead and he was all alone with nothing to do but wallow in self-pity and watch shitty tv.

It was already Thursday which meant that Gaara only had one more night until he had to return back to his own house.

It was already Thursday which meant that the godforsaken dance was tomorrow and he would be with Naruto and that he would have to deal with Lee and Gaara going together.

But it was whatever. He was the one who’d be with Gaara afterwards anyways.

He was the one who had been fucking Gaara every night for the last week, not Lee.

He chewed on his food maybe a little more violently than necessary.

“Chew with your mouth closed.”

He startled, hand grabbing at the remote and quickly changing the channel as he turned around to glare up at Itachi. “What?”

His older brother looked down at him almost placatingly and Sasuke found himself bristling at the patronizing gaze. “Shut up!”

“I didn’t say anything,” The grin that appeared on Itachi’s face was almost enough to send him into a rage, and he probably would have if the older male hadn’t had set a package down on his lap.

Sasuke stared down at it before looking back at his brother warily. “What is it?”

“Open it and find out.”

Sasuke hesitated and Itachi laughed.

“Don’t be so suspicious. It’s not a bomb or anything.”

He had the right to be suspicious. Itachi did work with Deidara after all.

But he didn’t reply, just carefully opened the box and peeked inside.

“A flower.”

Itachi tsked. “A boutonniere.”

He was met with a blank stare.

“Like a male corsage?”

Nothing.

Itachi sighed and ruffled his brother’s hair much to the younger’s protests. “Stick this on Naruto’s tuxedo at the dance.”

“Oh, that thing.”

“Yes, that thing.”

Sasuke looked down at the soft orange and blue flowers and touched them lightly with his fingers.

“Be careful,” Itachi said. “Those things are delicate.”

He didn’t reply as Itachi walked off, and thought long and hard over the words.

——-

He wasted no time in locking his bedroom door, tearing off Gaara’s shirt and biting harshly into the juncture of his shoulder and neck.

“Sasuke-”

He didn’t reply, just licked over the mark to soothe it before planting a myriad of hickeys all over the other boy’s chest.

“Sasuke-”

He cut Gaara off with a searing kiss that he returned immediately, small hands snaking up Sasuke’s back and settling on his shoulder blades.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered against Gaara’s ear, fumbling with the button of the other’s jeans.

Gaara let out a low moan as Sasuke licked a stripe up his neck before leaning back down and mouthing at his collar bones.

“Missed you too.”

——-

It was a loud night, usually Sasuke took some care to keep them quiet since Itachi was generally home at the same time but tonight he just couldn’t find it in him to care.

Gaara lay beneath him, chest heaving and mouth slack as he quivered under Sasuke’s now much softer touches.

“How are you?”

A small and shaky shrug.

“Was I too rough?”

A head shake.

“Good.”

He placed a soothing hand directly over Gaara’s heart and felt how fast it was beating.

He was wet and sticky himself and could only imagine how Gaara was feeling with his stained thighs and abdomen.

He carefully moved off of Gaara and sat on the side of the bed, about to rub the other’s hair but thinking better of it once he caught sight of his own hand.

“We need to get cleaned up.”

He got a grunt of protest in return.

“Can you stand?”

“...No.”

Sasuke sighed and stood up, cracking his back as he did so.

“Guess I’ll have to carry you.”

He was sure to be gentle as he gathered up the boy in his arms, frowning at the small yelp of pain that came from Gaara.

“Shit, Gaara, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so-”

“Shut up.”

He looked down at Gaara who had his eyes closed, pressed up against Sasuke as comfortably as he could.

“I liked it.”

Sasuke stared at him in bewilderment for a second before laughing. “Yeah? Never thought you’d like it rough.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“Shut up.”

It was Gaara’s turn to laugh now as they reached the bathroom. He flicked on the lights and set Gaara down in the tub, turning on the warm water and heading towards the shower to start it up as well.

“What are you doing?”

He turned around at Gaara’s voice and looked at the reclining male.

“I don’t want to like hurt you or anything.”

“You’re not going to hurt me.”

“You realize you’re probably going to be walking with a limp the next few days, right?”

“I’ve already been walking with a limp.”

“Oh.”

He leaned back against the marble counter top. “I guess I didn’t notice.”

Gaara hummed and shut his eyes. “Lee did.”

His shoulders tensed before he forced them to relax. He sighed. “Did he now?”

“He did.”

Sasuke was honestly getting tired of this. He was tired of feigning indifference towards Gaara in the daytime and allowing himself to be in love with him at night.

He felt like he could snap.

But he didn’t. He regretted how he treated Gaara at first and was regretting how he treated him now. If he thought about it hard enough he realized that maybe Ino was right and that maybe Lee was better for Gaara.

But he knew Gaara was best for him and knew that he loved him more than anything else.

The knowledge scared him sometimes.

But above all Sasuke knew that he was selfish and that he wouldn’t let something or someone he cared about go that easily.

——

He cursed all things holy when he carried a sleeping Gaara back to his room and noticed Itachi’s light still on.


	29. Chapter 29

For the first time in what felt like forever Ino was grateful to catch sight of Sasuke in the halls during lunch period.

If anyone knew where Gaara might be it was him.

“Sasuke!” she yelled out, waving her hand in the air as the boy turned around and rolled her eyes at the sight of her.

“Yeah that’s right, roll your eyes,” she huffed out, trudging towards him and latching onto his arm, not caring when he recoiled.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Uh, what I _want_ to know is where Gaara is.”

Sasuke frowned, finally ripping his arm out of her grasp. “He doesn’t care what you think. He’s already made up his mind.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, I don’t really care about you guy’s illegitimate love affair at the moment, I just need to see him.”

He regarded her carefully. “Why?”

She sighed and crossed her arms. “The dance is tonight, right?” she didn’t wait for him to respond. “And I highly doubt he has a tux or anything like that.”

She felt a small vindictive pleasure at the way he deflated, something like guilt crossing his features. “I didn’t even think about it.”

“You know he can’t get in if he isn’t up to dress code.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware. What do you want me to do about it?”

“Uh, hello? You’re rich as fuck, Sasuke. Lend him some money so he can go and buy a suit or whatever.” She smiled at his look of indignation. “Or you can just let him show up and get kicked out immediately. He’d probably be crushed.”

He cursed and glared at her. “Fine. Get it today and give me back the left over cash.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick wallet, extracting four bills from it and shoving them at her. “And I want the receipt.”

She smiled at him sweetly before directing her gaze down at the money, jaw dropping. “Sasuke, this is like four hundred dollars.”

“Yeah? So? How much do tuxedos usually cost?”

She shook her head, pulling out her own wallet and placing the money inside.

_Uh, a decent one around two hundred?_

“Nope, this is perfect.” She snapped her wallet shut and paused, a sick idea coming to her head. “Well, you know... He probably needs shoes too.”

“What- shoes?”

“Yep. Have you not noticed?” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “He wears the same beat up sneakers everyday, they’re probably like his only pair. You really think he has dress shoes?”

She was happy to see the new wave of guilt cross his face, and even more pleased when he begrudgingly opened his wallet to hand her two hundred more dollars.

“Don’t you fucking dare spend anymore than you need to.”

She pocketed the extra money and smiled sickly sweet up at him.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

——-

Finding Gaara was surprisingly easy after she wheedled his location out of Sasuke.

It was harder to get him to actually talk to her.

But after lots of long stretches of silences, occasional yelling, some tears being shed (she wouldn’t say whose) and a heartfelt talk she was leading him off the roof with their arms linked and friendship rekindled.

She didn’t tell him why she was taking him to the mall after school, only placing a finger to his lip and shushing him as he frowned at her.

She didn’t even notice his limp until they entered the store they needed to be in.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

She nodded down at his uneven gait and watched as his ears turned pink.

“It’s nothing.”

She didn’t inquire further and pretended like she didn’t suspect the real reason.

——-

“Do you like any of these?”

Gaara stared at the line of suits in front of him and shrugged. “They all look the same.”

She gasped and slapped him on the shoulder. “Um, what? Gaara, are you colorblind? This one is clearly midnight onyx while this one is dusk black.”

He snorted and shook his head. “What’s the difference again?”

She watched as he ran a hand over the fine fabrics and lingered on one in particular.

“This one?”

“Yeah?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“So you _do_ prefer midnight onyx huh?”

She smiled genuinely as he rolled his eyes, pulling the tuxedo off the rack and holding it loosely in his grasp.

“Let’s go.”

“You know you have to try it on, right?”

He looked up at her like he didn’t understand what she meant and she felt a similar confusion take over her.

“You try on clothes, you know that right?”

“No?”

The gears turned faster in her head as she looked down at him.

“Do you usually just not try on clothes before you buy them?”

“I’ve never bought clothes.”

She stopped.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never been clothes shopping.”

She looked at his clothes, from his beat up sneakers that all of sudden looked far too big, to his baggy and unnaturally frayed jeans and finally to his ratty and faded shirt.

She realized she had only seen Gaara in about three of each clothing categories since the start of the school year and in only one pair of shoes.

Fuck.

“Where um... where do you get your clothes then?”

He shrugged but his expression was guarded. “Kankuro gives me his old ones sometimes.”

So his dad didn’t even think to provide him with the hand-me-downs.

Something like fury rose up in her as she took in the sight of the small boy in front of her in too big, too old clothes that now seemed to swallow him up.

She forced a smile and grabbed his wrist.

“Hey, Gaara? Wanna go clothes shopping?”

He looked up at her in surprise, eyes flickering from his captured wrist to her blinding smile.

“Didn’t we just...?”

“Nah, I mean like actual clothes shopping. For important stuff.”

The badly concealed wonder in his eyes as they looked at other racks of normal clothes was enough to both stoke her anger and quell it.

When they checked out and he asked her how she had so much money she waved him off and said it was from work.

Sure, it was bitchy, but she had been planning to pocket the extra cash for herself after they bought Gaara’s tuxedo and shoes.

But obviously there were more important things for it to be spent on anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written something as long as this whole work is or anything like it and I'm not as happy with it as I thought I'd be. I hope you enjoy it regardless.


End file.
